Taking a stand and standing up to cruelty against animals

I was witness today to a horrible act of violence against defenseless baby ducks. *tears*. I took the fur kids and Keifer on a walk today and happened to overhear some teen aged boys bragging to their buddies that they "killed a baby duck". This was done immediately after I heard a LOUD, tremendous amount of quacking, which I assume were the ducks in distress. I came up on them, they were down in the weeds/bushes next to a pond, below the sidewalk I was on - and they were boasting about this act of violence. I saw the mama duck in the pond, circling frantically, as the boys continued to laugh and comment about the baby duck drowning.

I was unsure what might happen if I said something to them; 4 larger teen aged males vs. me, with an infant and 2 dogs, so I hurried home and immediately called the police station. However, before I left the site, I made sure they saw I was watching them, and I actually paused at 3 different times, in 3 different positions, where they could see me watching them and overlooking the pond.

Within 20 minutes, a police officer called me from the site of the duck killing. She said that she had come across the bikes of the youth, but nobody was around. Two hours later, she called again, asking me for my statement. Apparently, she found the boys, and when she asked if they had killed the duck, they denied it. When she told them that she had a witness and was going to call me, she said, "they sang like a canary". She issued them all citations for cruelty to animals and they have to go to court with their parents. She also commented that she hopes they get a female judge, and they serve their time through lengthy community service. The police officer thanked me for calling, and I thanked HER for taking the time (over 2 hours) to undertake this type of action against the boys.

I still have a pain in the pit of my stomach tonight, thinking about the poor mama duck, and the defenseless baby duck, who was intentionally killed. Kids like this make me SICK to my stomach, and I hope and pray that I am able to teach Keifer and other children that animals are to be respected and taken care of - as all God's creatures are.

Worth the wait - and worth the love

On the evening following the birth of my egg donor's son, Alex, I sit here thanking God and thanking Mooshie for allowing me to even THINK about the chance of being a mother to our angel, Keifer. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of our Egg Retrieval and our Embryo Transfer - and it is honestly hard to fathom that its been a whole year already. A whole year in which I was lucky enough to experience a full term + Pregnancy, give birth to my Keifer Lynn, and hear about the birth of her 1/3 sibling, brother Alex, on the West Coast.

As Keifer sits here, whining in her swing because she needs a nap and is fighting a good fight against sleep, my heart swells when I think about the picture that Mooshie text messaged me on our phones of her newborn, Alex: he is the spitting image of his 2 1/2 year old sister, Maddie and quite possibly, Keifer MIGHT look like him. We shall see (in better pictures). For me, this brings my heart pure joy - joy that in the unknown future of whether CJ and I will be able to give her a true sibling, she has a new "extended" family, if you will -Mooshie's children are connected to her through the egg that their mother gave us to create Keifer.

Some may be appalled at the thought of this. Luckily, we were blessed enough to have an egg donor who was so special, and she understands our feelings completely. We are both intertwined in each other's lives forever. I daydream about future summers where we can "swap" kids for a week or two -and they will eventually learn that their special friend is really somehow a bit of them (when they are old enough to understand, of course). Not many people will be blessed enough in this world to have just SO many people who love and cherish them as our Keifer Lynn. It brings tears to my eyes to imagine how empty our lives would be without her.

I was recently told by someone that I should disconnect from Mooshie and her family. It was just DNA that she gave to us. Just DNA. Yes, it was. But clearly, as we knew it would happen - not everybody "gets" the bond that Michele and I created last summer. The days that her and Maddie spent with CJ, me and the fur kids were a blur of love and fun and emotional hopes and dreams. I sat in the OR and WATCHED the doctor take out her eggs - out of her body. Eggs that were to become MINE, eggs that eventually created Keifer. How do you watch something like that, and hold that person's hand when they wake up out of the sleep they were put under, and disconnect from the person who asks, in tears, how many eggs did they get? You simply can't.

I recently asked Mooshie about this whole process and she was OK with me sharing what her innermost thoughts were about it:

I know how it feels to want people to understand how amazing our journey and relationship has been, and how hard it is when they don't.

You know how very religious and spiritual I am. God is at the center of my life, and I feel like He has shown me the way in life so many times, and led so many people and opportunities to me. Many people don't understand that, either, (most of my friends aren't religious or spiritual, whatever you want to call it) but that doesn't make it any less real or awe-inspiring for me. Get my parallel point here? I told my mom the other day that I have NEVER FELT MORE SURE OF ANYTHING IN MY LIFE--not even getting married or having kids of my own, than I did about going through this process with you. It was like I was hit over the head with it and there was no choice. Well, there was a choice, but if I didn't do it, it would have been the wrong one for me and I would have always regretted it. It was soooo weird. ............. as well as the many coincidences and miracles that I also believe God had His hand in. And if it wasn't meant to happen, it wouldn't have. There is a reason circumstances came together the way they did. If it didn't happen exactly as it did, Keifer would not be who she is. She is meant to be here, just like every one of us is. I would love to grow up knowing how very much I was loved and wanted and how special and unique my story is.

Keifer has a 1/3 brother!

WHOOT WHOOT! YAY!

My egg donor (egg angel) Michele (aka Mooshie) had her baby boy, Alex, yesterday!! CJ and I are THRILLED over the news! CONGRATULATIONS, MOOSHIE, DAVE and Big Sister MADDIE!
Mooshie called me to tell me that he arrived weighing 7 lbs, 1 oz., 19 inches long and looks just like his big sister Maddie did at birth, except he has strawberry blond hair.

We are SO excited to be visiting them next month -after our family reunion in Tahoe! I'm sure the number of pictures and video clips we take then will be atrocious!

Toothy dreams (again)

I have a very vivid imagination and when I sleep, I really dream some wild and crazy dreams. Most of them have no apparent point to them and involve lots of crazy people and activities. When I was pregnant, it seemed as though my dreams got even more wacky.

Well, this past weekend I had another doozy of a night on Saturday. The dreams started out with me attending an "up close and personal" Motley Crue concert (?? what ?? LOL), and then it moved into me having my teeth fall out (after drinking some sort of "toxic" drinks, mind you). Back in September, I had wild dreams about my teeth falling out, and apparently, the symbolism of my teeth falling out may have something to do with losing control over certain aspects of my life -- here is the definition again:

teeth - Falling out: Loss of control over certain aspects of one's life. Powerlessness, unable to influence things or the outcome of things important. Loss of self-esteem in a situation or a chronic problem.

OK. So apparently I'm having some issues with loss of control and self-esteem over issues in my life. Of course, immediately, I can think of 3 things that I'm feeling "powerless" about:

1) My weight. I'm not bouncing back like so many lucky women after giving birth. It's now 10, almost 11 weeks past giving birth, and I cannot even squeeze a thigh into my old pre-PG jeans/pants/clothes. It's very depressing. I went from always having a "smaller" kind of figure, to wearing clothes that are literally twice the size of they were when I met and married CJ. Not that I feel like I'm unhealthy or overweight - that's not it - but I am dealing with this new body - the aftermath body that grew an incredibly large girl baby (who is in size 6-9 month sleepers already at only 2 1/2 months old) - so I need to remember I will not snap back into shape as soon as I'd like to. Its frustrating to me, though - and I just need to accept it. I've been working out - trying to get into a consistent work -out routine - but this has been tough with taking care of Keifer and now working this week and being out of town most of next week. CJ and I recently went on a large shopping spree at the Grocery store and loaded up on mostly carb-free foods - in hopes of assisting the belly to flatten a bit. *sigh* We'll see. I'm no spring chicken at 33 -- I have a feeling had I been 23 and hadn't went through 3 years of fertility drugs (which added about 10 pounds to my body before even getting PG) that I'd be back in those smaller sized pants by now. But - ask me if I regret gaining the 45 pounds I did during PG and I'll tell you truthfully - no way. I loved growing my girl inside my belly and was very blessed to be able to do so.

2) I'm at a loss of control over the fact that I have to go back to work in the Fall- actually, the end of summer, to be exact. The last week in August. The thought of it seriously hurts my heart - I literally feel the "twang" of sad anticipation and dread at leaving my girl for a full day at a time -after spending hours upon hours each day learning to see who she is developing into and being able to teach her new things each day. I love her with every inch of my soul and I'm literally tearing up at the thought of going to work and teaching kids at school/work things that I could be at HOME doing with my own daughter. *sigh again* However, I know that we need me to work for my health insurance, and for the extra $$ that we need to pay off some things right now. And, quite possibly, in a few years, once we're in better financial straits, maybe I'll be able to enjoy my days at home with my girl. We'll see. I do know I'm comfortable leaving her in the home daycare we found - I really like the provider we've found and have a feeling that Keifer will learn lots by being there, and best of all, will become acclimated to a social setting with other children, who will be a variety of ages. Social skills are HUGE in today's society, and that is a plus about me leaving her *(and I'll only be literally 3 minutes away at work, so maybe I can sneak over and visit at lunch?)*.

3) I'm powerless about my fertility. I've mentioned before in previous posts- I want to have another baby and I'm fearful of how we 'll accomplish that. I know that Keifer is only 2 months old and I need to just sit, relax and enjoy her first year at least, without worrying about the "what ifs" in our future. However, I want her to have a sibling, and preferable closer in age, rather than farther apart. I may have said I never wanted to go through the birthing process again after I went through it, but now I'm ready to grow another baby in my belly. I want to feel those kicks and flutters and hear the heartbeat, and know that we will meet another little angel of our own. I'm just not sure if we'll be one of those "lucky couples" that miraculously conceive on their own after undergoing years of fertility treatments and assisted pregnancies. Should we think about adoption? Should we pursue donor eggs again? And, if so, should we do it anonymously? Who knows. What will be will be, and I know God will show us the path that He wants us to take when the time is right. I sure do hope, though, that the path He wants us to take involves more than one child, and that it will be as clear to us as it was that we were to use Mooshie as our egg angel in conceiving Keifer.

Chatter box

Keifer has turned into a real chatterbox lately - it is so much fun to sit and listen to her, make eye contact with her and "talk" back to her - especially when she seems as though she really knows what we are saying to her. HA! She has also discovered her tongue inside her mouth and can be seen constantly playing with it - sticking it out - choking herself with that and the newly formed saliva (can you say DROOL much? oye!).

I have been working all week this week - and my mom has been here taking care of Miss K. while I was working - so my blogging has been limited. However, I have a bunch of things to update and talk about -but to keep you all reading and in suspense *LOL* here is a link again to our dropshots and Keifer's latest "Chatting with daddy" video clips. Enjoy!

Scratch that itch

I found out at my cousin's wedding, a few weeks ago, that another one of my cousins had ITCHY FEET when she was pregnant! OMG! When I was pregnant, I had the itchiest feet EVER! It absolutely drove me bonkers - I would sit in bed and rub my feet on the covers, hang them over the bed to itch them on the carpet, or have CJ scratch them for me. Of course, like any itch, the more I scratched, the more they itched! It was a lose-lose situation. So imagine my surprise and laughter when my cousin and I were chatting about our pregnancies (side note: you have no idea how weird, yet joyful it is for me to say "chatting about our PG, meaning I (ME!!) had a PG! - it still blows me away). But I digress. Anyhoo, she mentioned she had had gestational diabetes, um, LIKE ME - and then she mentioned how she had the itchy feet thing going on. I had NEVER heard of any one else having the itchy feet! LOL LOL. I guess I am not the only insane one with the crazy symptoms!

Pretty Princess who loves Puppies Alert

Yep, I'm a pretty Princess (or so my folks tells me). They also tell me that I will love puppies, if I'm anything like my mama. I do seem to light up (or so my folks tell me) whenever I see my two puppies at home, Treble and Sage. Apparently (or so my folks tell me) I laughed the other night at the first time when Sassy Sager came up on the couch near me. I also (or so my folks tell me) smiled really big this morning before church when Treble did a big ol' sniff to my head. That Treble, he's sly in letting me know he really does care for me a lot. Apparently (or so my folks tell me) he slept on the rocker in my room the night I was so upset about my shots, and my daddy found him another night sleeping on an afghan in my closet on the floor. He also goes right to the swing or Pack & Play when he gets up in the morning, or comes in after a long, hot walk.

I sure do love my puppies. I can't WAIT to get to know them better. Daddy says (or so my folks tell me) that my first words will probably be, "No, no, Sass". *giggle* (*and mommy is sure glad she found all these puppy clothes on clearance and loaded up on them!*)

Yo, Yo, Yo, wassup, Hungry Caterpillar?

Yes, my mom loves books. Especially clothes that relate to books. So....'nuff said. *sigh*

Yummy yummy yummy, I need food in my tummy

Nummy - I made a yummy zucchini pizza the other night - for myself, as CJ doesn't really dig tomatoes or onions - and wow! It was sooooooooooo good I had to share - and I am SO NOT a cook (anyone in my family will attest to this, especially CJ) but it was so easy and delicious. And the best part - I copied it from a South Beach Diet webpage - so it is pretty much carb free -YUM!

Zucchini Pizza

3 T oil

3 cups sliced zucchini

1 cup sliced onion

1/2 tsp basil

1/2 tsp oregano

1/2 tsp minced garlic

pinch of salt

2 cups reduced fat shredded mozzarella

1 tomato, sliced

Melt butter in a frying pan. Add zucchini, onion, basil, oregano, garlic, and salt. Cook until tender and water is reduced.Transfer the mixture to a cookie sheet, spread it out evenly, and top with tomato slices and then mozzarella. Bake at 325 degrees until cheese is melted

*and I would lessen the 2 cups of cheese - it gets pretty darn cheesy!*

ENJOY!

Far away friends & family come to see Keifer

Keifer was a lucky girl this weekend - she got to see her Papa Jim and Nana Marge, as well as go visit her Auntie Jill, Uncle Corey and cousins, Abby and Mason. Then, Saturday night until Sunday afternoon, Mommy's friend Katie Jo visited and stayed the night! Keifer got an over abundance of love! What a lucky girl!

If you'd like to see Keifer visiting with her Nana, and see Nana & Mommy giving her a bath, you can click here for our dropshots video clips! Enjoy our VERY happy girl!

Nana is a great reader!Papa loves me (and says I have strong hands!)
Auntie Katie gets in on the feeding right away and does a great job, according to our Miss K.

Just because....our big girl trying to pull on her toys (well, Daddy put her hand up there, but she HAS been known to bat at them accidently lately. These are the animals she "talks" to while I shower and put her in this chair!

Happy 1st Father's Day, CJ

CJ had a great first Father's Day - Keifer surprised him with 3 books (so he could read them to her), an insulated travel mug with her picture on it (from Snapfish.com), and a photo collage 'story' that mommy assisted her with - with the pictures from a "photo shoot" that we secretly did while Daddy was at work.

CJ loved his gifts! Then we spent the day hanging out - in the AM with my friend Katie Jo, who was visiting for the previous night (visiting after driving all day back here to visit family & friends), saying goodbye to Papa & Nana (who were here for the weekend) and just chillin' with the fur kids in the afternoon. That evening, Keifer and mommy visited Daddy at softball and Daddy got to show his girl off - proud as a peacock! It was a fun filled, relaxing, happy day for all.

The books that Keifer got daddy were: "Daddy is a Doodlebug", "The Daddy Book" , and "Daddy Loves Me". She especially loves the Todd Parr "Daddy Book" , for all the bright and bold colors. If mommy had a million dollars today - she would spend it all on fun books for her precious angel girl (its called an addiction to children's books!)

Good friends, good times, great kids

I was lucky enough to meet 3 other women at college in my major -Early Childhood Special Education, back at UMD in 1994-96. Kris, Louise, and Michelle. We sat together, studied together, cried together, watched each other get married, have kids, and prayed for each other. We also told people this was "our table" and didn't want anyone to invade upon OUR territory - LOL - well, not really, but we have an inside joke about something to that affect. We still try to schedule time together whenever we can - and now our husbands enjoy each other and as of recently, now our KIDS are beginning to enjoy each other!

I can't tell you how cool and sweet it is to have such awesome friends like these women in my life - knowing they will always be there for you -personally and professionally! They are all mommies now - Louise just had her 3rd girl, Michelle has 3 children, and Kris had baby Anna last year. I'm the latest to join the mommy club, and we had a great day yesterday chatting (we never shut up!) and playing together. Our babies also got to "hang out" and be the "diaper club" together - LOL - because at one point all 3 of us with babies were changing them at the same time, with whining and crying as our music.

Here we are 2 years ago - when the 4 of us ladies stayed overnight at an Embassy Suites for a night (after a day of shopping at the MOA). The hotel had FREE happy hour for 2 hours in the evenings (which is why we stayed there, DUH), and we staked out our table early. Man, did we have fun . (sigh).

And here we were yesterday! ((*and I have to say, I had a really hard night after seeing how damn SKINNY I was in the picture above as compared to my post-baby body today. *sigh**))

And here are our kids - the "2nd" generation, hanging out in the MN heat. I cannot wait for these kids to grow up together! *poor Jerry, he's the only boy in the sea of girls! LOL. Now its up to Kris and I to hopefully give him a little BOY to bond with someday........if we're lucky!*

Miss K. in her "Island Girl" outfit, being held so carefully by Allison (*who will be our future babysitter, because she is SO good at it already!*)

Miss K. meets Miss Avery for the first time - yeah, Avery is 6 months old, K. is 2 months old. Ya'll think I have a BAB on my hands? *Big Ass baby* Hee hee.

Avery was saying "where's your hair, girl,I wanna pull it!"

I can't even begin to describe the excitement, happiness, (tears of joy), exhilaration I felt when my online friend, Kir, announced her positive BFP (big fat positive) last week - after their first successful round of IVF!

Kir has gone through infertility pretty much from the beginning with me, and when her and Mr. Kir were struggling, it was so hard for me to watch, especially after CJ and I were lucky enough to get PG. But Kir is an excellent friend - she sent cards, books, gifts, etc., and never showed how the BFP of others could wound her own heart.

KIR: I am over the moon excited for you and Mr. Kir and cannot wait to hear about how many little Kir's you have inside you!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months ahead! And yes, someday, Keifer and baby Kir WILL be attending Sundance with their movie-crazed mamas!!!!!!!!!!

Pretty Baby

Keifer & I went to my chiropractic appointment today and hit Target (I like to say "Tar-shjay boutique") afterwards and she managed to fall asleep to the swaying of the cart as I sped it around the Greatland. I must have looked approachable today, or Keifer must have looked ESPECIALLY adorable, because almost every aisle we hit, we had people smiling at us and I had 3 separate people/parties comment on Keifer. One older couple asked me how old she was, a middle-aged construction worker asked me how old she was as well, and I had a little boy (around 5 or so) ask me to see my baby. I said it was OK to touch her foot, as she was sleeping *giggle* and his mom thanked me for allowing him to do that. LOL. I mean, I AM bias, but I've never had people asking me how old she is! *sigh* My gorgeous angel; Mommy loves you so.

I'm a BIG GIRL now!

I'm a big girl now - I'm only 2 months and I can sit up in my Bumbo/Bebe Pod chair - I'm only a bobblehead sometimes! Mommy & Daddy are so proud of me!

Shots are NO fun

:O(

Just ask Keifer.

Last night was really rough for her -- seems as though our girl is NOT good with pain *ahem, just like her mama*.
She cried and screamed all night whenever the medicine for pain started to wear off. Mommy and daddy even teared up - because nothing really calmed her down until she fell asleep. All we could do was walk and jiggle her and shhhh in her ear. The poor puppies were heartsick for her. And mommy and daddy both got tears in their eyes listening to their angel scream and cry.

I woke up at 2 when she awoke me with her crying and guess who was sleeping in the rocking chair in her room? (For the first time ever?). Her knight in shining fur - Treble! *awww, what a sweet Tboy*

Luckily, she is a gem this AM and her happy -go-lucky self. She even made it our for a quick shopping expedition with mama! So she is good! And Tboy and Sass are very relieved, as they are sunning themselves off and on out on the deck on "their" towel.

2 months old!

Happy 2 months to Keifer Lynn - as of yesterday (June 10!) We had her doctor appointment today and she is doing really great! She is currently in the 95%ile for her height and weight - she weighs 13 2 1/2 lbs, and is 23 3/4 inches long. Her head size is at the 90%ile - -she has her daddy's head!

She is right on target for all her milestones - for social, motor, and language development - and seems to be a bit ahead for language already. Could it be all the talking and reading mommy and daddy do to her? This AM , while I was taking a shower, she sounded like she was making some new sounds - just cooing and babbling away to her toy doggie and kitty. Our girl has also has something called "baby acne" that is apparently very common and shows up between 6-10 weeks. So our girl is right on target!

We did our photo shoot with our girl last night - before she got her shots -- poor Keifer got her first batch of shots at her appointment - she screamed and cried and mommy teared up. She is OK and has been sleeping most of the day, but each time the children's Tylenol wears off, she is screaming bloody murder! Poor girl *breaking heart* Daddy CJ is currently walking the floor with her while she whimpers and cries - my poor angel.

Family fun weekend - and more Keifer pics, of course

Keifer Lynn says, "welcome to my blog!' Look how big I'm getting! I like to sit up and I LOVE to be 'nekkid' and show my growing Buddha belly off! Hee hee!

Our love triangle on the couch at night: Keifer and her fur siblings

Does this NOT melt your heart? My heart is singing with love!

My babies!

We spent the past few days up at my parents house, visiting some family and attending my cousin Jeff's wedding yesterday. It was so much fun - and many of my cousins finally got to meet our Chunky K! She was quite the hit of the party! My cousin's new bride gifted us with a beautiful little yellow dress for the wedding at my baby shower back in February, which fit in perfectly with her yellow bridesmaid dresses! *big smiles* Keifer didn't really want to watch the wedding, so CJ was kind enough to hang out with her while I got to watch it. Then, she was passed from family member to family member, and was a very tired girl at the end of the night. So tired, in fact, that she had her mommy and daddy VERY scared -she would not stop crying and screaming for over an hour - she was so overly tired. Finally, she calmed down and conked out, and today (Sunday) she has been sleeping for the majority of the day, with breaks in the sleeping to eat.

We have her 2 month check up tomorrow - as she is 2 months old TODAY! YAY! Happy 2 months, my little angel.

We've also added some new dropshot video clips - CLICK HERE to view them - its so much fun to see her in action! The last few I added were of Aubrie (who gets SO excited about her baby cousin) kissing her and of her Great- Papa singing/talking to her in Polish. Enjoy!

Cousins (the first of MANY pictures together, I'm sure) Aubrie Lynn & Keifer Lynn

Treble was on baby duty - he literally followed my mom around the house while she was holding the baby! Thank, Tboy, you're a good boy!

Family picture -Daddy, mommy, & Keifer in her pretty new dressThe happy new bride & groom: My cousin Jeff & his wife, LeeAnn, along with their "honorary" little munchkin *don't you love their doggie, Joey? She was a flower dog!*
Keifer got really hot, so daddy changed her into a cooler outfit, right on top of the table! My cousin and her boyfriend look on in amusement! Mommies & their girls- my cousin Becky (mommy to Aubrie) *yes, people mistake me and Becky for sisters!*
Awww, giving her baby a kiss! (all on her own, she loves her so!)

Visiting Great-G-ma Gina Great Gma plays with Keifer's toes
Daddy showing the fur siblings that Keifer is OK after her bath (they lie at our feet with worry when we bathe her)

See guys, I'm OK!


And finally, mommy and some of her cousins (& my brother, 2nd from Left) at the wedding last night! It's rare we all get together these days! It is so much fun to hang out with them, now that we are older and can now sit and talk - like real grown ups! (well, most of us! LOL)