Friday, July 21, 2006

I'm touched *sniff*

OMG. I just scanned my daily blogs, the ones I have listed on the side -->, and one of my favorites, Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters, actually gave me a shout out today, comparing Moosh and I's relationship to Oprah and her friend, Gayle. OMG. I just got chills. Literally. Tearing up. *sniff sniff* Especially when I JUST FINISHED JOURNALING about my dream about Oprah last night. Coincidence? Talk amongst yourselves. Wow. Unfrickingreal.

Thank you, Melissa. Thank you for praying for me and inspiring ME to journal my infertility journal/blog. I love when I can reach out and tell people what we are feeling, going through, and maybe give them an inside view of being childless and wanting a baby so badly. I have to admit, too, when people tell me they get emotional reading about what we are going through, it is truly hard to fathom why they would get teary reading about it, because when I go back to re-read what I've written, I don't get teary. Hmm. But then I realize I've been teary off and on for almost 3 years and by the time I write about what we may have gone through, my tears are long gone and I've moved on to a new level of emotion. I also think that most people in the world take for granted (not selfishly, just unknowingly) their fertility for granted. It is something that a lot of people don't think twice about, and when they try for a few months and get PG, its not a big deal. But meeting us and hearing our story, it always seems to blow them away. I like to be up front and honest about our tale and I'm not afraid to hide what we are going through. I think more people SHOULD know what couples like CJ and I go through. It sucks major donkey balls.

Here is my first ever blog entry. It gives a limited background as to how Chris and I have just done a Donor Egg IVF cycle, with a friend I met online (and had never met face-to-face until April, when her and her DH, and daughter, flew out here to meet with my RE to see if she got the thumps up). You should've seen the look on my RE's face when we told him we met online. LOL. At least the Psychologist, that we had to all mandatorily meet with (or I mean basically pay him $600 in cash just to tell us that we're OK to do this), at least HE thought Michele/Mooshie's and I relationship was something pretty cool. He seemed to think it would be the wave of the future. I like to tell people, relax. I met my husband online (, I planned my destination wedding on Captiva Island online, I bought my wedding dress online, adopted my two dogs from a MN Rescue I found online. Why not find the potential "genetic mother" of my future children online? I know her and the girls on this message board, all 100 or so of them, better than my real life friends. I can relate to them far better than my real life friends, they are here for me on days when I'm down and aren't afraid to call me , send me cards, or just plain old let me know they are here and they support and love me. They truly are my Prayer Warriors. And I could NOT have found a better match, egg donor wise, then my Moosh. We really do think we are soul sisters, somehow, someway, and in the future, we will always be connected after this. The adventure/journey that we are near completing (once I get my beta results on the 27th), was obviously something that was meant to be. It was a path that God chose for us, for some reason. We may not know that reason, but we have to trust that there IS a reason, somehow or someday there will be.


The Town Criers said...

And here's the creepy thing--I didn't read the Oprah entry until JUST NOW. I posted my Oprah comment BEFORE I read your post. How strange is that?

Anyway, I didn't compare you two because you would blow Oprah away. Completely. She's look at Gayle and say, "damn, I guess we don't have anything special." And I don't think Oprah could handle that. So perhaps don't rub it into her face when you go on the show.

You guys are the wave of the future. I now have serious regrets when I laughed at the Web back in 1995 and said, "well, this will never work!" Because I get so much information from the Web. From other women on bulletin board. They help me know the right questions to ask when they share their experiences.

And your experience is amazing. And emotional. When you see so much crap on the news, it's beautiful to hear a story of two people helping each other. So incredibly. We're talking life here! She is giving part of the life and you guys are giving part of the life and together you're creating this baby (okay, twins. Okay, triplets) who will be so so so so loved.

I will be crossing my fingers and holding my breath until your beta. It's amazing how you can become so emotionally invested in a person you don't know--at the basic level to read their experience and hope for them and on a Mooshie level to give life.

Michele said...

I couldn't find the words to respond yesterday, I was too emotional.

I can't find the words again today! I am so overwhelmed with so many feelings, the predominant one being love.

Carrie, I can't stop thinking about you and Chris and hope you are staying busy and doing well. I feel almost as if this were my own 2ww! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO and fluffy, sticky, positive vibes! "Moosh"

Laura said...

Can't stop thinking of you and... well, super glue and fluffy clouds! Keeping you in my prayers!!! :)

Emilie said...

That was such an apt comparison, Carrie! I am so inspired by your blog and by the way you are willing to share the entire emotional range of your experience.

I am crossing my fingers for you, too, and so is Steve. xoxo


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