Monday, January 14, 2008

Why? Well, I'll tell you......

I've heard from a few different people that you are wondering about WHY we canceled our blood work and what is going on. Yes, it's probably confusing, but just to let you know, nothing is wrong with us. CJ and I have a very important (possibly) life changing decision to make, and we want to go forward cautiously with this. Choosing an Egg Donor isn't just about going to the mall and picking one out and guaranteeing that is THE ONE that is for you, or that its necessarily going to work. There is a multitude of testing to be done by all of us, there is paperwork beyond belief to be dug through, and there are meetings with doctors and meetings of the potential parents (us) with the donor-to-be. And of course, there is the certainty in our hearts that this is what we want to do, which comes in to play.

With Mooshie, the process to get the ball rolling started out as such an unexpected thing, and we were clueless as to how the process went. It was very frustrating, as our clinic's coordinator isn't necessarily on the ball as I think she SHOULD be (hell, I've waited long enough to be a mommy, so dammit, I'll crack the whip!). We waited 2 months, until it looked as though Mooshie was for sure going to be able to be our donor - before we told anybody (other than our immediate family members). I remember sharing the news as vividly as if it was yesterday. Many tears of joy were shed.

We have a possibility for an egg donor this time around again as well. It won't be Mooshie, as she lives too far away, and logistically, with 2 young children right now, and a potential move in her future to a city farther out of her city, it just wouldn't work. We are sad about that, but at the same time, grateful to the ends of the earth for her ability to give us her eggs, and for our angel girl, K, being the result of that journey. Mooshie will forever and ever by my long lost soul sister, my daughter Keifer's "egg mama", and K's Godmother. Keifer will forever be Maddie and Alex's 1/3 sissy, and for that, we are blessed beyond belief.

This new journey started with some emails, very much like how it began with Mooshie. The potential donor wrote to us and proposed that she wanted to be considered for this very special job, and would we consider her? CJ and I weren't sure at first how we wanted to walk down this particular path, and we knew if we took some time, and started making decisions, and prayed on it, things would play out like they should and we'd go from there. Not that it wasn't stressful, but we weren't sure of what we were thinking. Thoughts were like swirling tornadoes through our minds (at least mine were!).

The person who may be our donor is actually located right here in our metro area. She actually lives closer to our clinic than we do. She is extremely fertile; just how fertile, well, I'll share more of that later down the road with her permission, and when things might look a little more "green light" to use her. She is going to be filling out paperwork, going through interviews and blood work, and this coming weekend, CJ, Keif and myself will be visiting with her and her brood. *deep breath*

We are excited and nervous. This just isn't a stop at some one's house for a snack and some chatter. This is meeting a woman who may be the next angel on earth for us: the possible woman who will share a part of her being to hopefully give us another chance at bliss with possibly another child (or children!). It's almost like going on a blind date with the man you KNOW you are going to maybe be marrying a few months down the road.

The few tidbits I can share: she is similar in build to me, she has naturally red hair, blue eyes, fair skin, loves to read, loves music, loves to laugh and appears to be smart ass, loves animals and has rescued dogs. She has one of her children already enrolled in musical lessons, the violin to be exact, which warms my heart as I played the violin (*first chair, mind you*) for three years. I'll compare the similarities with myself: I color my hair red, I have green eyes, fair skin, love to read, love music, love to laugh, I think of myself as a smart ass, love animals, and have rescued dogs.

Need I say more? I'll keep you posted (and with her permission, as well, as stated previously).


Bookerson said...

That is exciting. We are in the middle of a donor cycle with an anonymous donor. Sometimes I start to think how nice it would be to meet her.

I am in awe of how you have seemed to handle telling family and being so open about using a donor egg. I am not there yet. I have told my mom, sister and one close friend. Other than that I am afraid of what people may say to me, or what they will think. It sounds very middle schoolish, but that is where my head is.

Okay, I just wrote a book, but to sum it up, I hope I can handle everything as well as you have. I have enjoyed reading your journey.

Ahuva Batya said...

It's great to read your update. I am so hopeful for you this time around too.

Kerry said...

She sounds really hot!:)

Emilie said...

I was just going to say ... what a spectacular woman she must be! :)


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