Its hard to deal with friends and family, some well-meaning, yet some completely clueless on how what to say or how to act with us, now that we are dealing with the dreaded *shh, hush hush* INFERTILITY (ahh, shudder!). This does NOT include the friends and/or family that have been by our sides since day one, and try their darn hardest to support us and understand what we are going through to the best of their abilities (or their real life experiences may also offer empathy). But still, even the most well -meaning friends/family who are "fertile myrtles" can sometimes say or do something that strikes a chord inside us infertiles, making us feel so sad and alone, without the friend/family meaning to do so to us. It's a very fine balance walking the tightrope of being in Chris and I's "circle" of love.
I found a new blog, called "Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters", last week. A friend of mine on a TTC board stumbled across this blog, and it's written by parents who went through the infertility cycles and are now writing a book on the subject, with material from us, the infertile. The material will be for us to read, along with the people in our life -- like an "education" on how to "deal" with us.
I added it to my links on the side, and I HIGHLY recommend you glance through it, to see just HOW we respond to news, such as "how to receive the news that somebody you know is PG", and so on.
My friend Emilie, (Em , I feel like I steal your thunder all the time, but this time its legit, I swear! LOL), today wrote up an excellent summary of this blog. Click here to read Em's thoughts on the blog:
Be sure you take some time to check out the Stirrup Queens blog. Its probably the most educational blog you're going to find on Infertility in awhile. If you do take the time, I HIGHLY suggest you read the post on "Breaking the News". Very useful info for your future.
A whole other blog entry could be dedicated to "why is there no reading material on IVF or Donor cycles that is about what I'm going through?".
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4 comments:
Soupie,
I want to share a song with you. I was listening to my Jill Sobule album today and this song hit me like a ton of bricks. I had forgotten all about it. How odd that I heard it this morning while I was feeling particularly contemplative. I wish I was technologically advanced enough to find the song for you to listen to. It's so melancholy and beautiful.
My heart and thoughts are with you and CJ. XOXOXOXOXOXO
Barren Egg
Jill Sobule, Robin Eaton
Another barren egg, another month gone by
Just more time to do as I please
No one watching over me
I don't have to make my bed I can lay in it instead
With no one there to bother me
'Cause I'm free it's just me
Another friend got caught
Another friend knocked up
Another friend with nothing in common with me
Another night with you
Spending time with you
I'm still alone 'cause you're the freest man I've ever known
I'm free just me
I'm free nobody but me
I'm free save me
Free as the snow as it melts away
Free as the wind on a real calm day
Free as the moth on my window pane
Like you, kinda like me
Another barren egg another year gone by
Just more time to do as I please
No one's tugging at my sleeve
I can be as rude as I please
No one's going to fire me
Floating in this endless sea
I'm free just me
I'm free nobody but me
I'm free save me
P.S. Emilie was born where I live now! :-)
You live in Portland, Michele?! I love it there! I would move back in a heartbeat if DH and I found the right job(s) and house.
And Carrie, no worries. I checked my thunder garage, and nothing is missing. ;-) The more people hear about this infertility site, the better, I say!
I read another book that i picked up one day called something like Conception Chronicles. It was a journey of three friends who all went through variations of fertility treatments. I explained so well my thoughts in each stage of trying. It also dealt with dealing with your own emotions and others reactions. Sometimes it's just hard to get the words out, these forums help so much.
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