The bitch is back

*yes, I love me my Elton John*
**and hopefully for the LAST time**

It's amazing to me that when you are trying to have a baby, just how much time and body landmarks become so overly important. You live your life in increments of 2 week periods: you get your AF (Aunt Flo), and then around 2 weeks or so, your body SHOULD ovulate.....and around 2 weeks from ovulation, you SHOULD get your AF, unless you are PG. We TTCers call that the "2 week wait". "Oh yeah, I'm in the dreaded 2 ww (week wait)". When you start doing medicated cycles and getting shots to induce ovulation, your body becomes less your own and more of a "let's make a baby" machine" of the doctors. And getting the dreaded AF can mean a bad thing ("oh damn, it didn't work AGAIN for us this month" , usually accompanied by uncontrollable sobbing/venting/wailing/anger), or a good thing ("yay, AF is here so we can start our next IUI cycle"). You also live by your monitoring days and which days you are supposed to do the meds. For example, most medicated cycles take place between cycle days 3-7 or 10 or 12, depending on what you're on and how you respond.

Being on IVF, the docs have complete control of your cycles/ ie: bodies. Mooshie and I were placed on the pill months ago, to coordinate our cycles to their (ie: doctor's) complete control, so they can line up the "perfect" days for us to do our separate meds so that our embryos can be transferred into my waiting, heavily mediated uterus (which, BTW, my doc says is more physiologically alluring than the "natural" uterus when a PG occurs, chew on that!). Mooshie and I went off the pill for a month, and then started it up again for the "real deal" cycle. I was on the damn thing for 40 days and I think she was around the same amount of time.

I went off the pill last Thursday, and had my Depo-Lupron shot Wednesday, the 14th. The nurse in charge of our scheduling told me that when I went off the pill, I should have some spotting/bleeding, and that if I DID NOT have any bleeding, that I should call and let them (ie the docs) know because then I might screw the cycle up somehow (no, not really, but then they would have to do something to make me bleed before I start my Estrogen on Wednesday). Well, ladies and gentleman, the bitch is back! She showed up with a vengeance yesterday before church and was accompanied by her co-conspirators, cramps and sleepiness. Today, she is pretty light, which means she wasn't a "true" AF, just a 'little bit of bleeding', which seems to be exactly what I should have done. *whew* Check mark that one down, as well. Now how many to go? Its silly how worked up I can get over these stupid little landmarks, like "bleeding' on schedule. Just add that to the one million things I needlessly worry about, eh, CJ?

~~~ edited in the evening~~~

Spoke too soon. The bitch WAS back with a vengeance. Her pals, cramps and headache, decided to rile her up and that river this AM turned into an ocean. Uggg. Not pleasant in the 80' weather and humidty. Oh well, such is life.