30 days? Hmmm.....

I admit it: I have become obsessed with losing my baby weight. Yes, it's only been 2 months, but man oh man, I had JUST gotten back into somewhat of a place where I wanted to be with my body image, and then I got PG again. I was SO thrilled to be PG and my goal was to work out the entire PG, but tiredness, and the sickness and overall discomfort of the PG made me unable to realize my goal (my fault, yes).

So....here I am, back in the pants that I never wanted to wear again, and am frustrated with myself for being unable to fit into the pants I want to fit into. I cringe when I glance in the mirror after thinking I like what I wear: I'm not used to having to struggle to lose weight. My whole life, I had a fantastic metabolism and could out eat any big-time eater, any day. I remember Jess's dad always looking at my skinny body and then looking at the pile of spaghetti I would eat at their house- as much as he would eat! I had a great appetite for food, and never had to worry about it staying off my body. It just came naturally.

Infertility, drugs with hormones and now 2 PG's have changed my body. It isn't coming off so easily, like some women have happen. I have to really work at it. I keep vowing to myself that I'm going to watch what I eat, then I eat something bad and say "tomorrow, tomorrow I'll restart that diet". I just need to stick to it (the diet) and start exercising more regularly and more intensely to get back to where I want to be.

Now that Kyla is almost 2 months old, I got the OK from my OB to start working out. My goal, before I get back to our gym, is to get into somewhat of decent shape (aka not dying of lack of breath when working out). I checked out Jillian's 30 Day Shred at the library and liked it. So far, I've done 4 days at Level 1 in a row and can feel the tightness in my muscles: the good feeling - of a good work out. Here's to me- keeping track of my food intake and hopefully getting back into shape- where I want to be for my own self image and happiness.