Saturday, May 23, 2009

Home again, home again

Home again, but without Kyla.
Mama's heart is in pieces. I've been a weepy mess since 4PM - knowing the 5PM feeding was my last until I had to leave my K2 girl overnight alone without us.
I spent the feeding sniffling into my girl. She was so sweet- cooing to me and all alert, looking me right in the eyes, as if to say "I love you, too, mama".

Daddy and Keifer picked me up and we all said our goodbyes to Kyla- Keifer through the glass. She was perplexed as to why mama was so sad, but very happy to have me home.

We'll be back to the hospital tomorrow- just not sure how we're going to work it- I don't want to let Keifer feel like I'm abandoning her and always gone, and don't want CJ to have to do ALL the work with her. But, what to do?

Kyla has improved her last few feedings- but if she doesn't gain more weight by tomorrow (she lost another ounce today) she will have to have the Gtube inserted into her nose to supplement what she is eating. *sniff*.

I'm off to bed- will upload pics tomorrow when more energy is stored up. Check out facebook if you're a "friend" of mine- I have pics up there.


LutherLiz said...

I remember that time well. It is SO hard. Know two things...that nothing that is happening right now is your fault and that ANY way you make things work for the family now is the right way. If you need to sleep, sleep. (Remember you did have surgery and need to heal too). If you need to go to the hospital, even late, go. If you need to break and play with Keifer play. It is hard but she will get the eating and gaining weight together and right now she is in the best place she can be. Hugs though. I know how hard it can be.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Oh, sweetie, this is so hard. I still cringe driving by the hospital where we had to leave them back in the NICU and with a child at home, I have to think that it's 10 times harder. Just know my heart is with you.

Jamie said...

I just looked through your pictures. She is soooo beautiful!!

I hope she will be eating and doing better soon so you can all be home. How are you feeling? How are you recovering from your c-section?

Being divided between Keifer and Kyla will be difficult but you and CJ will figure out how to make it work. Hang in there and keep us updated.

P.S. I am going to add you as a friend on facebook...


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