Monday, September 29, 2008

My status: anxiuos, excited, and optimisitc

What a day. I just got home from our Monday night Baby Ballroom class with Keifer. She was such a handful tonight. Oye. Lately, she has become so moody and wants to be SO independent, that I honestly get worried about HOW will we handle her in 15 years or so? My goodness, she is so loud and rowdy and runs around. Are other 17 month old girls this wild and crazy? And here I am, a teacher to three year olds, barely able to contain and handle my own daughter! What good am I?

We had a ball, though, ha ha, being at baby ballroom. Keifer tries her hardest to mimic the actions and dance moves, and although she fights me when I pick her up to dance these days, towards the end when she gets tired, she loves to let me lift her up and spin. Mama gets a kick butt workout, too, especially as we're learning the fox trot and the cha-cha- cha this time and it involves some quick feet. I break out in a sweat every week.

As for tomorrow's transfer, well, the butterflies have officially hatched and are flying around inside my stomach. I was talking to just about everybody at work today and at baby ballroom about our big day tomorrow. Part of me wonders if talking about it will jinx me into NOT turning out to be a BFP, but then again, I talked about it last time, and it was a BFP. Part of me also thinks that the more prayers and good vibes we have being sent our way can only HELP our situation - me being a huge believer in karma and the cosmic atmosphere of what will be will be. The woman who does Reiki on me is sending me reiki vibes at the designated time, and I know many people have been praying for weeks for us. It brings me to tears to even write about all the support and love and general well wishes we have in this journey for Soup baby #2. It literally makes my heart sing. And when I can feel my heart being lifted in gladness and happiness, I just *know* then, that this baby must be meant to be.

And, on the flip side, if the results are not as we desire, then I can only hope that the prayers of the people praying ofr us now will give us the strength and courage to pick ourselves up and get ready for another go-round, as we aren't done fighting the fight for a sibling for Keifer. She loves babies TOO much for me to give up on giving her a sibling! (or two, wouldn't that be a kick!).

A big thank you to you all. We appreciate all the wishes more than you know. We'll be transferring the embryo (ies?) at 10:30 CST tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be more relaxed than I am now.

Now I"m off to curl up with Breaking Dawn, as I got it off of hold at the library, and I'm going to try to focus on something other than tomorrow morning.


kristine said...

So, if you're doing the transfer tomorrow, how long do you have to wait to test??
I am so excited for you, Carrie! I will be thinking about you guys!! Good luck

DMB ( said...

Yup, I've got myself a handful, too; I think it's just this age. We'll get through it, though probably with more gray hair by the end of it.

Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking about you! :)


Jennifer Prince said...

Yes- my child is wild and crazy too! Her and K would be a hoot to see together :)


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