Sunday, December 09, 2007

Musing..... I sit here, catching up on blogs and making a cup of tea to unwind, after putting my happy girl to bed. *sigh*. I love her so. Looking at her today, with her hair starting to get fuller and starting to lie down 'just a tich' on the sides, instead of sticking up like her peacock feathers, well, it looks like it'll be a beautiful golden red. Just like her egg mama's. Just like mine when I was a baby. Just like I've always DREAMED of. A little baby with golden red hair. My heart could burst. Thank you, Mooshie. Thank you.

We took angel girl to church this AM, and she did so well. She really does well during the one hour and 10 minute service we have. I'm always amazed that this is my child, playing on my or CJ's lap, cooing, eating, looking at the cool fans on the ceiling, etc.. My joy amps up when our angel girl goes in to give us her special little "hugs" she likes to do now: closing in on getting close to our faces, smiling and giggling, almost like she's wanting to kiss us. People are always peeking over at her, smiling at us, telling us how adorable she is. Just like I like to do when I'm somewhere and there are babies in my radius. It makes my heart burst with pride, love, and joy. After the service, she sat with us while we had a snack, and two separate people came up to us and told us how much K looks like her daddy. You can say that again. She is a clone of him. The round cheeks, the eyes that are turning icy blue, the cheeks, the big smile. I am a lucky mama, and I'm so blessed to be experiencing this thing called motherhood this Holiday season. I've been a little bit "bah humbug" the past few years around this time of year. Maybe because I always wondered if I'd ever be lucky enough to have a child to experience Christmas with. The wonder, the joy, the lights, , the tree, the birth of a baby in a manger. All the memories I have as a child, I've dreamed of sharing with my own child. In years past, I felt almost bitter. Sad. Heartbroken that yet another year went by with no child of my own. Last year, I remember being PG and telling CJ, "next year at this time.....", about our angel baby that was inside me. And now she's here. And thanks again to Mooshie, for allowing me to experience this. Without her eggs, I'd never be in this positon, feeling so gushy lovey dovey about my child. The child that God gave us. *sigh*.

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