Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Drugs, anyone?

I honestly feel like I am on drugs today. It is the weirdest feeling, I almost feel like I did when I had Keifer and was sleep deprived. I guess hormones, stress, and grief can do that to a body.

Last night, I was trying to find something somewhat nice (aka not a sweatshirt and jeans) to wear to the funeral tomorrow, even just a simple sweater would do. Nothing. Nada. Everything I have from pre-PG, well, it makes me look like a sausage squeezing into a casing. It's awful. And no, I'm not exaggerating. Even CJ gave me the "look", like "poor you", and said, "well, you look like you have big jugs". *eyebrows raised*. That's a guy for ya.

Another note, I had to do a observation at a Head Start yesterday afternoon. I love watching the kids run around and learn and interact with each other. During my observation, I usually sit off to the side of the room, and most times, the kids will come up to me, wondering who I am and what is my name.

A little girl came up to me yesterday, and I smiled at her.
She paused, and then said, "why are you crying?". I stopped, shocked, and a little jolt went through my body when she said this.
"I'm not crying, I smiled at you. Do I look like I'm crying?" I asked.
"Yes," she replied.

Then she grabbed her paper airplane from off the floor and ran off to play with her friends.
I had the chills after that. She could "feel" my grief. Maybe she could see inside my soul. What an intuitive little soul she is.

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