Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Body image issues rambling
For some reason this week, I am suddenly having body image issues. I asked CJ to take a picture to show Keifer of mommy in her "Let it Show" shirt, but when I looked at these pictures, I just about cried. Well, OK, I DID cry. Hormones have taken over my body and I'm no longer rationale. As happy as I am - well, THRILLED and OVER THE MOON would be the better phrases to say - about being PG, I looked at these pictures and wondered what happened to the girl I used to see in pictures. Add to that, the fact that I've gained about 20+ pounds already in my first 25 weeks, compared to some of my friends that have gained hardly anything, and suddenly I am making "Shamu the Whale" jokes. I mean, c'mon, look - I'm growing a double chin!
I need to get over it. I know its normal and I will forget about the weight the minute I hold my Keifer Lynn in my arms. And I KNOW I will lose the weight, and be just as happy if I don't lose every single pound, but I feel like I'm saying goodbye to my old body, my old "fun-loving, cute, thin" self, and saying hello to a whole new person in this body. Which I am - I am a mommy now. A mommy, just like I've dreamed about.
So please forgive me for becoming upset, Keifer Lynn. You are so wanted and loved already, forgive mommy for becoming upset about the weight gain. You are so worth it. I will get as big as you want me to, as long as it is safe. I wanted this belly with you inside it, growing healthy and strong. And mommy will just have to deal with her pregnancy hormones in a more rational way than crying - for Daddy's sake as well. And for Treble and Sassy's sake, too; they don't like mommy to be upset. *but it is almost the beginning of the third trimester, hmmm.....*
And yes, Sassy Sage likes to use mommy's Keifer belly as her sitting shelf. LOL.