Relaxation mode

I had a great day today. I've officially been on "summer break" from work 2 full weekdays now, and so far, I'm loving it. I'm hoping I'll have time to "relax" and "not worry about a thing" , and then, because I AM on vacation, maybe I'll get PG! *(note the obvious sarcasm)*

I had my semi-weekly Reiki session today. It's a haul to drive the 35 min. from my house, but so worth it. The gal I go to is a little, older woman, who is a spitfire. She is so excited for me and I had to LOL a little today, because she had me explain again what exactly the process is (*If I had a dollar for everytime somebody asked me the "process" of this whole donor egg thing, I'd be in the $40's right now*). But I'm glad they ask. It means they are genuinely interested and care.

Anyhoo, the Reiki thing sounds so far out for people who've never had it done. However, I swear by it! It basically is her laying her hands on me and "opening up" my energy flow patterns (aka my chakras) (*(link on side ----> explaining what it is exactly)*). I've had it done before, but after hearing more about the whole "mind/body" experience and how the body and mind can influence a PG, I decided to go on a weekly basis and eat the $$, because in the long run, it makes me feel relaxed and genuinely happier. Plus, the infertility therapist Chris and I visited with told me to treat my body well, and to get massages and things that make my body feel good, rather than all the stress and poking and prodding.

I always become very relaxed (almost dreamy-like) during Reiki. I'm doing 30 min. sessions with her, and usually she starts at my "clarity" chakra (my head area). It's nutty, but I swear I have a million thoughts come into my head from the moment she touches my forehead until she leaves that area. Then, as she moves to different positions, I'm light as air and I can literally FEEL the energy start at my toes and move through my body. Somedays I jerk -- like a muscle spasm -- my legs, a foot, my fingers; they are all twitching on some days -- this basically means the energy is becoming unblocked.
A girl on my TTC board swears that her Reiki sessions helped her w/her BFP (Big Fat Positive PG test). So we'll see.

On another note, Mooshie (my donor) got her meds today!!! I'm so excited. I was just as excited last weekend when my meager supply of meds arrived, too. LOL Thank goodness I won't have to be sticking myself in the tummy everyday for weeks on end, I'm a big time wuss at that--I always had Chris give me my shots in the tummy while I took deep breaths. The one time I had to do my own tummy shot, I almost hyperventited, I swear. But Mooshie is a strong girl: she's pumped. She took a pic of her stack of meds and if I COULD POST PICS *(grrrr they never show up)* I'd post the picture of the pile.

Luckily, this time being the recipient only, I only have to worry about my uterine lining, so I'm on mostly oral meds -- Estrogen and the pill. Tomorrow is my big "STICK IT IN THE BUTT" Depo -Lupron shot, a high dose shot to tell my ovaries to "cool it". Then, when the embryos are transferred into me (God willing) I will start my progesterone oil shots - now those are a doozy, or so I've heard. They oil is THICK and slow in getting into your body, and I guess that they are a pain - literally.

Its funny, thinking about this whole process, it is so like a rollercoaster. One week ago tonight I was sobbing--the whole "can't-catch-your-breath" sobs for hours. I was on another "downer" and getting so freaked out, because if this round of donor eggs fails us, we're not sure we can afford to even try again with another donor. That thought scares me tremendously and makes me sadder than I ever imagined I could feel. I guess the realization that our road will come to a complete T and we either go left, or we go right, is coming closer and closer.

And now, here I am tonight, happy as a clam all day. Was it the Reiki? Maybe. Or maybe the fact that I have no stress "workwise" in my life. Or maybe the fact that my furkids make me happy. Sager wakes me up on the AM's we sleep in together -- and that starts my day with a happy heart. My favorite moments are waking up to her licking my hand and yipping at me "mommy, get up", and bugging her furbrother by chewing his tail and chewing at his ears while he grumbles in protest. *(and thank goodness she's learned how to sleep past the 6 AM waking hour this summer!)*

On our walks today, Treble was SO happy and in his "frolic" mood -- the mood he gets all happy and tries to play hard core and do the whole "ass crunch" on Sager while we try to walk. It's hilarious, and he literally made me LOL on 2/3 walks today.

*sigh* ahh, the joy of my furkids. And the joy of knowing that in one MONTH from today, Mooshie's eggies MIGHT be extracted!! July 13 is the big day!! Whoot!