"More pease, some?"

"More pease, some? Mama? More pease?"

*This is a common phrase these days around our house, as our little angel girl is expanding her requests with us. It's so fun to hear her each day, telling us what she wants and needs. However, sometimes she gets upset with us as we won't give her what she wants! Tonight, it was "more pease, nanas, mama?" Mama was mean, and wouldn't give her her requested bananas (the girl is stopped up the past 2 days, after having constipation). Ahh, what screams we heard.

**Last night, driving home, she called to CJ and I from the backseat: "music, mama, music, daddy!" and proceeded to bop her head in time to the beat of some song on the radio.

***This morning, while I was quickly showering, K was playing on the floor with some of her bath tub toys. When I got out, she moved on to digging through my drawers, which is very typical of her. I don't have anything dangerous in them, and I let her explore, as long as I am right there to monitor her well-being. Today, she found a razor of mine, with no razor blade on it. She closer her mouth, tilted her head back, and started brushing the razor up and down her cheeks. Oh my! The girl was "shaving" just like she's seen her daddy do on a few occasions. Ahhh, Keifer Lynn, you amaze me on a daily basis!

A movie night for Mama

Tonight, I used a Secret Santa gift to go and see a movie (my respite!): there are many I want to see right now, being it's almost Oscar season. I decided on Slumdog Millionaire, which sounded interesting and not as heart wrenching as a few others.

I'm so glad I decided to see this: if you can get to it, GO! It's a wonderful movie, wonderfully told. It was nominated for some Golden Globes: best picture, best director, best screenplay, and best original score. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but it was a story of love, honesty, family and fate.

Fly to the Angels

Yesterday, I was able to make it to Emilie's funeral, thanks to the help of a friend Courtney (thank you!) and Chris, who took half a day of work off to help me take care of Keifer. It was truly one of the most beautiful funerals I've ever been to. It took place in her church, the Basilica in Minneapolis, and was a very heartfelt service. I'm so glad I got to go. May Emilie rest in peace, and know she was beloved.

It was also nice to see some fellow MN bloggers, all friends of Emilie's, that I've been reading and message boarding with for a few years, but haven't ever met in person. And also, a few friends I haven't seen in person in quite some time. Missy, Liz, Kerry, and others: it was so nice to finally "see" you, although under such sad circumstances. If you're interested in reading more about Emilie, Missy has taken the time to gather all sorts of fellow bloggers' devotions to Emilie. It's amazing how the list is growing.

Home to sad news

We arrived home last night from our week long vacation to Mexico. I keep telling people it was Cancun, but really it was just 5 minutes south of Playa del Carmen, which has got to be one of the loveliest places on earth. For me, anyways. I love the turquoise water, the breeze from the ocean, the sound of the waves, the soft sand, the swimming pools, and of course, being at an all-inclusive resort where food and drinks are yours 24/7. Bliss.

However, I came home to find out the sad news that my friend Emilie had passed away the night before Christmas Eve. To say I was shocked, saddened, dismayed, you name it; well, is to say the least. I honestly feel like a piece of my heart has broken off that this kind, witty, intelligent, outspoken, well-written and hilarious mother and wife (and daughter and sister) has been taken from our world as we know it. Just writing this out has me welling up with tears again.

You can read all about Emilie's brave fight with her sarcoma at her blog, which I've posted quite frequently on here.

Today, the St. Paul Pioneer Press published the story of Emilie on their front page. It includes some wonderful, poignant pictures, both online and in the paper version. I urge you to read it: to get to know a piece of who Emilie was and to see how beautiful she was, inside and out. Have your Kleenex ready.

I feel awful, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to make her funeral tomorrow. Having found out so last minute, and CJ having to go back to work, it's most likely I won't be able to make it. Who knows. I'll keep trying to figure out a way.

I was looking through my old pictures on the computer, and finally found the picture I knew I had: from November, 2004! I had thought it was 2005, but no, it has been since 2004 that I have known Emilie. the picture I"m posting is the first time that I met my friend Emilie (as well as Allision) face-to-face. We had met originally on the wedding planning board, the knot.com, and moved onto separate MSN message boards set up for us going through infertility. I knew Emilie appeared to be a funny and well-spoken women through all her posts and messages. Meeting her only proved that point was true.



I found out that Emilie was one of the only people I could count on to talk about movies- the ones that most people in my "circle" don't really always care to see: the independents, the Oscar buzz movies, etc.. We went to see Brokeback Mountain together, and I remember she was newly pregnant with Daniel, thanks to the help of some medications and an IUI. This is so dorky, but I remember admiring her for being so prepared during the movie with her healthy snack of almonds to munch on.

Later, Emilie and I met up with mutual friends of ours, usually to enjoy food together and to bitch and moan about how unfair life seemed that we were unable to get pregnant. Emilie was with me when I made my first diaper bag purchase, and afterwards we wandered down a St. Paul street, and enjoyed a dessert together at an infamous spot famous for their desserts. I remember I was hugely pregnant, and we had some great discussions that day. The thing that I remember best about Emilie, is that she had the knack to express herself and question things that I often thought about but never had the nerve to actually say out loud. It made me laugh sometimes, because here was this unassuming little gal spouting off about things that I had always wondered about as well.

When I gave birth to Keifer, Emilie posted on my blog, that her Daniel and Keifer were born only 2 minutes apart-and both after having to resort to a C-section, after laboring all day long.

Here is what she wrote that day I gave birth:

I have to tell you, Daniel was also 8 pounds, 10 oz., and was 21 inches
long ... and was born at 5:01 p.m. (two minutes apart) ... and via c-section.
Birth twins. :)

It was almost eerie reading that, like maybe someday down the road, maybe Daniel and Keifer were destined to have their paths cross somehow, someway? Who knows.
My last meeting with Emilie was unfortunately too long ago. It was right before she found out she was pregnant with Benjamin, and that she had cancer. Keifer and I spent an afternoon together, her with Daniel and me with a young Keifer, wandering another St. Paul street, pushing strollers, sharing new mother's wisdom, and talking children's books.

I am at a loss for words right now as to much more about how I feel. Emilie certainly left a hole in this world, and will be missed greatly by so many people who loved her. I am glad she is finally not in pain anymore; that was so hard to hear/read about. My prayers are with her husband, and her boys, and her family, for this Christmas season and those to come are never going to be the same.

Please send her family prayers.

Keeping Emilie in our hearts

My friend Emilie, over at lemmondrops, has been so brave in battling this awful cancer that has been wreaking her body.
Last night, I received an email about the latest chapter in her life, and most likely, her last.
I will admit, I have been a sobbing mess since last night and have not gotten much packing done. My heart is in pieces for a wonderful woman like Emilie; life just sometimes is not fair. Please keep her and her family, especially Steve and her two baby boys (ages 2 and 9 months) in your prayers right now.

Just like you, Mama!

Although this does not make me look like a beauty Queen, it is an accurate picture of how everything we do these days: Keifer wants to do, too.
This AM, Keifer started with "my turn", and "mama's turn" when we were brushing our teeth and combing our hair. She amazes us each day with her language!

This video was right after Thanksgiving: it was the night we returned home from Grand Forks, and had traveled in the car ALL. DAY. LONG. I was in my PJ clothes, stretching my back, and Keifer decided she wanted to stretch/exercise just like mama!* and yes, we listen to a LOT of Buddy Holly at our house - LOL*
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

TGIF before vacation

We have been busy beavers at our house, trying to get ready for Christmas (well, I have for my co-workers and kids), trying to organize what we're going to bring to Mexico tomorrow, and then cleaning! CJ's parents have decided to stay at our house for a week while taking care of the fur kids, so of course, we don't want them to stay at our pig sty of a house: cleaning it is!
Packing-wise, I cannot lay anything out in piles, etc. for us to take because Keifer just thinks that she is helping mama by digging through them all and putting them in drawers for me. Last night, I started throwing her shorts and shirts into a pile and she "helped" by digging through all her long pants and "snapping" them out and then replacing them in her drawer. Ahhh, Keifer.
On top of it, I have a nasty, nasty, nasty cough that is very deep and has me on the verge of losing my voice. I am so ready for the warm and sun. This snowy MN weather has got me going stir crazy with all the long commutes into work and home, and I'm ready to relax on a lounge care with a virgin- margarita!
We will be leaving early tomorrow and coming home on December 27. I will post quickly before we leave!

Papa's gift

Auntie Barbara got my dad (Papa Dale) this sweatshirt for Christmas. It is very appropriate, as Tboy is in LOVE with my dad because he is always taking the puppies for walks. How cute!

Wordless Wednesday: The World is her Stage!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Christmas in the Manger

Although Keifer is too young to fully grasp the concept of just "why" we celebrate Christmas every year, I'm so glad we came across this book, Christmas in the Manger. It is a very simple young child's board book, full or repetitive, rhyming text, focusing each section on the animals in the stable, the star, the Shepards, Mary and Joseph, and finally, baby Jesus, the "reason for Christmas Day". Our girl love this book - she actually prefers to take it from our hands and flips right to the star page, as well as the picture of baby "Jeez".

I'm hoping next year, the whole celebration of baby Jesus will make more sense, but until then, I thought I'd share this sweet little book that is a hit at our house.

Another book she is really loving lately, is Merry Christmas, Big Hungry Bear. Although our girl hasn't really read The Little Mouse, The Red, Ripe Strawberry, and The Big Hungry Bear, she still loves the pictures and simple text in this book. She loves to say "mouse crying" when the mouse is 'boo-hooing" and I think she likes the colorful pictures. It's another sweet, simple, and colorful book to share with your little ones!

13w, 5 d: OB update

I had another OB appointment today, this time with the woman who will be my "official" OB (as my beloved Addie is not an "official" OB). This is the woman who was on call the day I was induced, and ended up having to do an emergency C-section on me. She was great. I really liked her calm approach to things, and we sat and talked today for almost 20 minutes about my history, IVF, my first PG, and this one. We agreed, as I had talked about before, that I most likely will do a planned C-section this time, as the first round with Keifer, I stalled out dilated at a 9 for over 3 hours. This time, I'll feel more calm and relaxed about things and not panicking that my baby will get stuck inside me again. Also, hopefully I won't be as damn sore afterwards!

She didn't do a pelvic exam (YAY), but we did hear the beautiful sound of Soupbaby #2's heartbeat pattering away. *sigh*. It is a miracle to hear. This was the first time I've actually heard the heartbeat: on the previous ultrasounds, I've seen the heartbeat, but hadn't heard it yet. It was in the 150 range, same as the range that K was. Hmmm, does that mean girl again? LOL.

I also was quite happy that so far, I've only gained about 6 pounds total this PG, and I'm already almost 14 weeks! I'm not hitting the gym as I had hoped (so far) but hopefully the exhaustion and need to be in bed by 7:30 will soon end! *please?*

Off to get our girl into bed: daddy is bathing her and I can hear them puttering around, getting lotioned and dressed for bed. He gives her some lotion to rub into her belly, and she keeps going "more, pease, more pease". So sweet.

Our girl was "holidazzled"

On Saturday night, CJ, Keifer and myself joined a group of his friends that were in town for the weekend for the day, and that night, we took ourselves downtown Minneapolis to the annual Holidazzle parade. To say Keifer was thrilled to death would be an understatement. She had mama in tears of joy as she jumped up and down, ohhed and ahhhed, pointed and said "here comes!", waved her little arm off and screamed "hi" to every float that went by. Many times, a character (all lit up) came by and said hello to our girl as she was so enthusiastic and adorable *sigh*. It all went by too quickly for mama, although we should've gotten our spot sooner, as mama felt very crowded and initially it was very difficult to keep our girl contained before she knew what was going on. It certainly made my yearning to take her to Disney World in October 2010 more intense! I so want to see her face light up with joy at the happiest place on earth! Especially when she sees the far more entertaining SpectroMagic parade at the Magic Kingdom!

Happy belated Birthday, Daddy!

Last week was sort of chaotic, as this week will be, so bear with me as I try to catch up on things. It was CJ's birthday last Thursday, the big 4-0!!!! Me, Keifer and my parents presented CJ with a photo collage of Keifer from her 18 month photo shoot in a special frame. He was so touched and just loves it! That night, Uncle, Auntie, Mason and Abby came over with balloons and a chocolate cake for daddy. It was a fun day and night all around! Happy belated birthday, dear CJ. We love you so much!
Here's last year's birthday pics!

Thank you, mama

Our girl has turned into one polite and well-mannered little one. Lately, she has been saying "thank you, mama" to anything and everything I do for her: buckle her in her car seat ("thank you, mama"), hand her a book or toy from the front seat ("thank you, mama"), fix a toy of hers and give it back to her ("thank you, mama"), give her food or milk ("thank you, mama"). She also frequently will say "Welcome" instead of thank you if she's already TOLD us thank you at some point. :)
Yes, our girl is making us feel so happy and proud. *sigh*.

Also, last night when K was watching mommy go "tinkle", when I was done and flushed the toilet, she started clapping and said, "yay, mama! Good girl!".

13 weeks! First trimester done? Check!

I'm just about done with the first trimester! Yippee!!! I'm almost out of the "scary" part of becoming PG, and tomorrow, I'm going to get my hair colored - a much needed task!

Here's what babycenter.com says about this week:
How your baby's growing:Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.

Our 20 month old girl got a haircut today!

Keifer Lynn got another haircut today. Thankfully, we had Elmo videos playing, we went through 2 suckers, and we had lots of distractions, including a fish in the fishbowl named "Oscar". There was no cape involved: oh no!The girl who cut her hair did a great job, as Keifer was not an easy sell the last few times we've attempted even bang trims. We decided on a stacked bob, much to her daddy's dismay (he wants her to have long hair now), but until it gets thicker, this will be easier to manage and won't get so tangly! Plus, she refuses to keep barrettes in her hair, and pony tails aren't very good at staying for any length of time. I think it looks adorable, and man oh man, it makes her round moon face look even rounder, if that is even possible!
Our girl also turns 20 months today. Four more months and she'll be 2 years old. *gasp* Where does the time go? *sigh*

Wordless Wednesday: Oh, how she loves mama's soft "shirt" (robe)

Ho, Ho, Ho: Christmas Party!

We had Elaine's Christmas party this past Saturday. She made a wonderful brunch for all her families, and the kids all performed the songs they've been singing daily as well as new ones they are learning. It was so sweet to watch. Keifer loved sitting with her friends and watching them sing as she attempted to sing along. She really likes tick-tocking her tongue on the "Days of the Week" song.
Santa made his visit, and Keifer wasn't too sure of what to think of him. She had been saying "Santa, Santa" with CJ and I in the car, and even said "hi, Santa" when he arrived, but she wanted nothing to do with him up close and personally. She did, however, accept a gift from him. She got a new book and a new stuffed puppy! She loves both!

The best part of the day was watching our girl interact with her friends. I have a ton more pictures,but won't post them publicly, but the joy in Keifer's eyes as she looks upon her friends is very heartwarming, and makes mama feel sooooo good about the decision of having her in a daycare.

Here's our girl ready to leave for the party, modeling her new winter "fashion boots" like mama's (I got them 1/2 off at Famous Footwear! How could I NOT? And now, CJ understands WHY mama wanted her to have "cute winter boots" on top of the functional snow boots)

Santa waits for Keifer to take her turn on his lap: um, not so fast, daddy!

Eyeing up this new big guy in a red suit
Not sure what to do: shell shocked

Showing mama her gift from Santa

Keifer trying on her friend's new pair of play heels
Don't break an ankle, Keifer!

Watching her friend's line up for the "songs" - she decided to join them shortly after this

Sitting on one of her favorite friend's laps: look at the joy!

Quickie dash in and out

A quickie update from us- as I have many things to do at work, and many things to do at home,and I never feel like I have enough time to just do what I WANT to do :)

PG news: I'm 13 weeks tomorrow. Boobs are exploding and hurting in the process. I have still "popped" and the night time is the worst for the bloat/big belly effect. Last night, I'm not sure if I pulled a muscle in my lower right rib cage area or if it is my PG belly starting to stretch and grow. I've been going to bed as early as possible lately (*ahem, 7:30 PM last night*) and could sleep and sleep and, well, sleep. If I miss my medication dose for morning sickness, I pay for it, but thank God I'm not (and never) have been throwing up. My hunger comes and goes; usually I'm not really too hungry, I am eating for the sake of "having" to eat. I have my next OB appointment next Monday the 15th. I have switched my "primary" OB to the woman who was my delivery OB the day I had Keifer. She did such a fantastic job on my C-section and was so calm and reassuring, I really wanted to switch to her, as she transferred to my practice.

Keifer: A crazy girl. The minute we start to speed up just a little bit in the car, she says from the back "run run, mama, run run!". She also told me to "run run" in Target while she was in the cart. Do you foresee a speed demon in my future? Hmm. I told CJ this AM that if anything, she'll be his downhill ski buddy!

Keif is in love with going to Elaine's. I drop her off in the AM and she never looks back. She loves to run with her friends, dance, be "child of the day" (get that sticker and hold that flag!) and especially loves baby B. (who is just over a year old). She has to give her friends and Elaine hugs and kisses when she leaves. She is still a music junkie and last week, the song "Like This" by Mims was on the radio. It repeats "like this, like this" over and over, and suddenly, I heard her sweet, clear voice singing along "like this". Talk about a sweet moment. She is off and on about being bossy in the car with her "taste" in music. She still loves her "bop bop" song, but will let mama play some of her music. It's cute as she tries to sing along with all the songs she has no idea what they are. Our girl loves to dance to TV commercials, the background music on TV shows, and of course, her favorite big red guy.

Mama and daddy have much to do in the next few weeks. Mama is super stressed out at work, as she has 4 new kids starting and has reports galore to finish writing. There are always parents to help and it's hard when you want to help and give all you can, but there isn't always the right resources, or even enough time to help (as much as you want). PG hormones have been causing some weepy moments, but it'll get better. Keifer needs her hair trimmed desperately, we all have chiro appointments, Sager needs a vet appointment made, and there is Christmas shopping to finish: all before December 20, when we fly away on our week long Christmas vacation in the sunny weather of Mexico.

Daddy turns the big 4-0 at the end of this week, and we have family and friends coming to town, hopefully to celebrate with us :) We are hoping to take Keifer to the annual Holidazzle parade downtown Minneapolis, for her love of lights has us predicting some exciting ohh's and ahhhh's! Mama can't believe how fast time goes, and is in awe that her main man is another decade older (almost!) WOW! You would never know :)

More pictures and videos to come. They are uploaded...........

Elmo slippers

Our big girl is finally keeping her Elmo slippers ON her feet (for about 1 minute before she pulls them off again, LOL).
Here she is modeling them for Papa Dale.
Many more picture to come soon, but it has been a busy, busy weekend and mama is exhausted and off to bed. We had Keifer's Christmas party at Elaine's on Saturday (a brunch) and a good time was had by all. We are so lucky we found Elaine to watch Keifer during our days: she is wonderful! :)
Stay tuned, more to come this week when mama has energy.............

What a Wicked Good Time

Last night, me and my mom were lucky enough to experience the musical "Wicked". Um, loved it. I love love love theater, and traveling shows, and pre-marriage, I racked up quite an impressive list of shows I've seen. It's been about 4 years (?) since I've seen my last show ("Mamma Mia") so I was so excited to be seeing "Wicked". It was wonderful! Funny, beautiful music, sad, exhilarating, and overall entertaining. I'd love to have seen the original cast in this on Broadway, so maybe I'll have to check out the soundtrack........I am a big soundtrack junkie ("Rent" being one of my all -time favorites)...........

So, although I am exhausted today (I missed my bedtime by about 4 hours!) the chai tea latte *soymilk, please* is starting to kick in and I'm grateful I only have kids in the AM today.

My girl is a shopping fool!

Today, after work, I had to stop at Target to pick up a few things, so Keifer was with me. As we turned into the Target parking lot, she suddenly exclaimed from the backseat: "Shopping, mama, weeeee! Shopping, weeeeeee!!!" After a second delay, she said "where shopping go?", although I didn't understand why she said that, because we were clearly pulling into the lot. What a funny girl.
Oh, my dear, how much you made your mama laugh and her heart soar with your sweetness.

She was so excited to get into Target to shop. She is such a social butterfly. I hope her love of shopping continues and she's able to help mama in the future, as she is quite the helper these days: garbage helper (picks up things and puts them in garbage), helps mama dust with the Swifter duster (literally follows me like a shadow and imitates all my "dusting moves", helps feed the dogs, and helps turn off and on lights. She would like to help with many other things, but mama and daddy haven't let her get TOO wild and crazy YET. Hee hee.

Twelve weeks PG today

Mama has suddenly POPPED! *Yikes*Once again, Keifer had to investigate
And...once again, she wanted to share HER belly (she then went over to daddy the picture taker, and lifted HIS shirt to see HIS belly ~~ she is all about being equal in her sharing - equal hugs and kisses and sharing bellies, too)

Twelve weeks pregnant today. I've almost passed the first trimester mark, and the chances of anything happening to Soup baby now are very minimal (fingers crossed). I've been feeling NOT as sick as I was previously, thanks to a generic Zofran, but man oh man, the constipation has been horrendous. Luckily, fruit and liquid have been helping lately. Whew. Nothing like feeling like you are giving birth every time you have to go to the bathroom!

The tiredness isn't as extreme, either, and I've been able to plug away at work and during our family life. Unfortunately, the gym has taken a back seat due to business and me being just a tich "too tired" at night to actually exert myself more than I have to. However, I'm hoping to get back there SOON, as my belly has suddenly POPPED in the past week. Crazy. One minute I'm saying how lucky I am I'm not showing yet, and POP, suddenly my belly has some sort of memory of what it was like with Keifer inside there. I just feel "fat". Not PG, yet, but just "pudgy". I'm still sliding into my regular jeans, but the button is getting a bit snug at night :) Let's hope I'm not TOO big in a few weeks, as we are celebrating Christmas in Mexico for a week, and I don't want to look too much of that "in between" while frolicking with my Keifer in my swim suit. You know, the "is she or isn't she" looks. :)

Babycenter.com tells me: How your baby's growing:

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

See what your baby looks like this week.

Kiss Kiss

Keifer's latest "thing" to do is to play with puppets. She received a finger puppet

a few months ago from my Auntie Barb (a monkey) and has shown an interest in using the puppet to give kisses out to her other toys and baby dolls. Well, mommy took home her own personal puppets from work: an M&M puppet (I call him "Mr. M"), a monster from the Target $1 bin section, and a piggie. Keifer LOVES her puppets and frequently asks "where puppet go?", and will call for her monster or "M".

Daddy noticed this past weekend that Keifer was having her puppets give lots of kisses, and yesterday on K's note from Elaine's, Elaine said that Keifer took an oven mitt, placed it on her hand, and was blowing kisses to all her friends with it. Ahh, what a doll.

This AM, I could hear her in her crib as I was getting ready for work, and I heard her smooching away in there "mmmmm mwah, mmmm mwah". I peeked in unbeknownst to her, and she was smooching her baby doll, smack on the doll's lips. Then she was using the "motherese" tone to her voice and talking to her baby. My heart, my heart! I so hope she is this kind and sweet to her real baby come June!