Coming soon: more pics!

Mama had a busy weekend, with a Tastefully Simple party ( I attended, um YUM), my hair cut and colored, dinner out with my ECSE girls, shopping and hosting a MN mama GTG yesterday at our house. Whew. Many pictures of our fun GTG yesterday to come, but now I"m back to work and have many things to get done, so patience, please :) Muchos gracious (see, I'm practicing my Spanish, as we leave THIS FRIDAY *gasp* for Cancun). If anyone wants to help with my "to do" list that is a mile long, hee hee! CJ and I are cracking at the list, the list that never seems to end, especially as we have K's bday party 2 days after we arrive home! AHHHH! One years old in a week! *( my heart, it is twinging!*)

Egg Donor Characteristics

Friday, I got the call from our clinic - a nurse wanted to set up my "mock cycle" with me, and also wanted to go through the list that will be sent to the donor coordinator (at our clinic); a list of the characteristics we would potentially want in an egg donor. It was interesting and a bit surreal to sit on the phone and talk, so nonchalantly, about the characteristics of what our "ideal" egg donor would possess. It was definitely not something most people probably even stop and think about doing, when talking about having kids.

I'm OK now with having an anonymous donor. The more time that goes by, the more I realize that the first experience with Mooshie could never be replicated, and I think not knowing who our donor is will save me a lot of stress and unwanted anxiety about how things are moving along, or working. Lord knows, the less stress the better for me. I tend to get as tightly wound as a clock, and I'm of the philosophy lately, that the less stress, the better, especially with our angel girl to take care of. But, if anything, I think having Keifer will help me be distracted enough NOT to get so tightly wound up in the process of this all. Already, the time is flying by; let's just hope this remains true for the rest of this journey.

I told the nurse our first and second "picks" as to what eye color, hair color, and hair texture we wanted. "Thick and luxurious", I told her, laughing, as I have the most baby fine hair on the planet. I really didn't think it mattered what type of hair, curly or straight, she have, as at this point, should it? We were able to pick height (range of 5 foot 3 inches to 5 foot 8 inches),and "body type", as in, what type of body. I also laughed a bit, telling her that pre-TTC and all the drugs, and pre-PG, I used to be a lean and slender girl. I made sure to say that we wanted a fair skinned girl, as I am so lily white, I burn in an instant without sunscreen. When asked if there were any additional traits that we might like to add, I said that dimples would be nice, as I have the "family" dimples, inherited from my Papa, and it would be nice to have something like that available, if it were possible.

As I said before, it is a bit surreal, to sit and write about our ideal donor. All we would really want is somebody healthy and smart, and caring, and compassionate. I would hope to think that whoever does this (donates eggs) would possess most of those qualities, you know?

Belly laughs

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K prefers Ellen, too!

I heard on the radio this AM that apparently Ellen's talk show won in popularity over the big "O": Oprah. I have to say, I agree. I find Ellen to be so down-to -earth; I could imagine she might be more approachable in person, if I were to see her jammin' at a local dance club *(LOL)*. Maybe SHE might like to hear about me and Mooshie's egg donor story? I know the Oprah people didn't even acknowledge us....hmmm..........

Anyhoo. Last week in Duluth, I had Ellen on , and K was dancing along with her as she danced in her audience. Of course, she stopped dancing as soon as the video camera turned "ON", but what's a baby to do when she' s in the limelight of her mama's camera all the time? Such pressure. LOL.

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Wordless Wednesday: Chattin' on my Elmo Phone

Yesterday was the first time K has taken (one of her two) Elmo phones and held it to her ear like she was talking/listening! Yep, our girl is a chatterbox.

K's latest favorite book!

I picked up this book at Marshall's a few weeks ago, as a gift for a co-worker who is due any day now. I got one for K as well, and wow, am I glad I did. This is her new "book of choice". It's called Baby Talk, and it's a very simple, lift the flap book, with six different babies and simple words associated with daily activities (peek-a boo, yum yum, mama, etc.). The other day, K turned the pages all by herself and for the first time, (appropriately!) said "Yum!". *swooning* My heart, my heart! She also seems to prefer the "mama" page, and kept repeating "Mama, mama", which was music to my ears. Get it!

Here she is listening to Auntie Auntie read it to her! This girl is a book worm already (just like mama)

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The 2.4 second attention span

K got a new race car as part of her Easter gift from Nana & Papa. The interesting thing about this: we don't have any cars in our house (as toys) , but she seemed to know just what to do to make it "go". Fun. I bet she's picked it up from her friends' at Elaine's!

Notice she has a 2.4 (*give or take*) toddler attention span going? LOL. Her favorite activity lately is just climbing on tables. Climb climb climb, my little monkey girl.

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For the love of a baby

Finally- mommy found a few minute to upload pictures for the Keifer fans that flock to our site! *hee hee*. We spent most of mommy's spring break last week up in Duluth, staying at Nana & Papa's house, and being visited by MANY family members that were so excited to see our angel girl. We also made a few visits on our last day, but we didn't even manage to see everybody that we wanted to. That would take a week (so, Alicia, if you are reading this, I'm sorry! Next time!).

I didn't put ALL the pictures of everybody in, that would be ONE longggggggggg post, but I did a few of the highlights. It may look like Keifer was up there for about 2 weeks because of all her wardrobe changes, but in reality, she kept getting food on herself, or spitting Tylenol all over her shirt, or, well, being the baby that she is, so mommy had to keep changing her. Good thing cousin Aubrie had JUST given us a big ol' bin of more clothes to dig through! At the rate K is growing, we will be surpassing Aubrie in clothing sizes by next Fall! Seriously - there are a pair of pants in K's bin now that she will be able to wear this summer that Aubrie was wearing last Fall when she was here visiting. *eyebrows raised*

Without further adieu, our girl and her family of many hugs............

Seriously, this is the welcoming party. This is the first 1/2 hour of arriving in Duluth. Notice K is with Auntie Barb, Nana, Papa, Aubrie, and Treble and Sassy Sager are in there for good measure.

Cousins Brittany & Nathan had so much fun playing with Keifer, and she with them! It's been way too long since we've seen them!

K enjoyed entertaining her Great-Grandma, Great Auntie, and Papa: here they are all watching K's dropshot video clips; K is turn, thought they were hysterical! LOL How big is Keifer? SO BIG! Great Grandma made sure Sager got some good lovin', too! She's our other baby! Aubrie was so excited to have "her baby Keeser" here for a visit! She kept fawning all over her (smooches here!)

Too bad K outgrew these matching PJ's! Getting ready for bed

Nana and her favoritest girls on Earth Oh! A new M&M for Easter!
Keifer has a special, sweet love for Great Auntie Barb (Auntie Auntie) She was mystified by Uncle's goatee!
She loved visiting Great-Papa and he was so happy to see her - it's been since Christmas since we've seen him. He is still very sad about losing Grandma. *sniff* We all miss her so. It felt very different to visit him and not be able to give her a big hug and kiss, too.
K was beyond excited (and vice versa) when she got back home to her daddy! Here, the two lovebirds reunited and cuddled for over an hour while mommy had the fun job of unpacking the car

Happy Easter!

with her cousins, Mason & Abby in the church nursery

silly girl

Baby K's first Easter! She was due last year before Easter, but I lost my plug on Easter Sunday and was induced two days later, only to have an emergency C-section. Ahh, yes, my Easter baby. How I love thee.

We got home last night from Duluth, after a crazy busy visit, and I have many pics to share. I unpacked and K reunited with her main man, her dada CJ, and we relaxed a bit.

This AM, CJ got up with our girl and fed her and bathed her and we all hit the road for church. The other Soup family met us there, and the kids enjoyed their nursery/kids' activity time together. After church, CJ, K and I enjoyed a brunch at Perkins, where it was possible to easily get a booth on a Sunday after church (*gasp* but it was Easter!!). K munched on as much food as she possibly could, and we all came home and napped for two hours. Ahh, the life. She woke up as cranky as a bear, and we enjoyed a dinner that Jill prepared: Ham, potatoes, asparagus, rolls, you name it. It was wonderful. Abby played "waitress" and even Tboy and Sass got to come visiting with us. It was a wonderful first Easter for Keifer, and we are so blessed to have such wonderful family and cousins for her within driving distance!

We hope you all were as blessed as we are!

Recap of our Doctor Visit: We're on the list

I know many are wondering about the status of our recent RE visit, and I apologize for the wait. We've (well, K and the fur kids and I) are up in Duluth for the week and will be here until tomorrow. We've been a constant whirlwind of social activity, and poor K has been paying the price this afternoon. She is exhausted, and I don't blame her. We have lots of family and friends that we have squeezed in this trip (our first since Christmas!), and we didn't even see all of them. Daddy CJ stayed home to work and is out tonight with his buddies enjoying college hockey and more brewskis with some old pals and his brother.

Anyhoo.

We met with Dr. D this week, and it was a success. I told CJ after we left the clinic, 3 hours after we had arrived, that I'm so glad we went to this clinic (among the many that we could've went to). We realized it has been since 2005 that we've been "signed up" with this clinic, and I can still vividly remember visiting another reputable clinic and leaving it in tears after a doctor very callously dismissed me as "needing donor eggs" and "probably not possible to use their warranty program".

We love our doctor. He is kind, gentle (especially in the areas he needs to be), and soft spoken. His nurse is fabulous, and although I've had issues in the past with the scheduler not getting back to me, it's all worth it in the end to me to be treated with the utmost respect and the most thoroughly, especially in my "condition".

Our visit: we arrived on time at the clinic, me having a very full bladder, as I was instructed to do so, as I was having my uterus measured again (for future embryo deposit) and "checked out". First, we met with the clinic's financial person; of course they want to make sure we have a down payment before any of this goes any further. We coughed up the check, and went on our way, discussing all the legalities paperwork- wise as to what may happen if (God Forbid) CJ and I either pass away or get divorced. Always happy topics to go over at this clinic, eh?

Then, we met with the nurse to go over all the other paperwork. We had to cross our t's and dot our i's, and make sure our ducks are in a row. I was then escorted to the ultrasound room, where the doctor came into and started out by measuring my uterus. Previous to being PG with K., my uterus measured at 7. 25 centimeters. Keifer managed to stretch it another quarter of a centimeter, so that is written in the books. It is sort of cool to watch; every thing is measured and monitored on the ultrasound machine and I could see the probe doing it's job. Of course, my bladder was so painful at this point, I thought if I had to hold my urine any longer, I might have to just let go and GOOOO, on the table! Whew. I was able to get up and release all the water I had drunk, and made my way back to the table to have my sonohystogram completed. My uterus showed nothing abnormal and all was clear.

Then, we met with our doctor. Previous to having Keifer, we had met with him and gone over my female reproductive history, including previous gynecological surgeries, procedures, abnormal menstrual cycles, etc.., and we had decided with him how many embryos to transfer back into me if we made it embryo stage. Of course, we did, and we ended up transferring the three embryos we created back into me. One was rated at a very good, one was a decent one, and one wasn't ideal. They put all three back into me, thinking that there were two decent ones, and the risk of having twins (25%) was something that CJ and I, at that point, were willing to take.

I found out the other day, as well, that my uterine lining was only "borderline" in the thickness that they like to see when transferring embryos back. Apparently, they want a nice and thick, progesterone lined lining, somewhere close to a 10, and mine was only at a 7. something when we did my procedure. At this point in time, I am very glad I did NOT know this, had I not gotten PG, I would've (knowing me) obsessed over this small fact and wondered forever if it were my fault.

For this next go round, the doctor wants me to undergo a "mock cycle", meaning he will have me take all the meds that I will take for our "real cycle" in undergoing preparation for accepting embryos back into my body. We are hoping that if I am to have any problems building up that lining again, the problem can be tweaked and taken care of before a real cycle, as we would NOT want to make it all the way to the transfer day, and not be able to do so because of my lining. See how our ducks need to be in a row? So many "little" things that most people really have NO idea about.

Apparently, they have also changed the protocol in the past 2 years since we've had K. Back in 2006, I took a big ol' heavy duty Depo-Lupron shot in my ass, to shut down my ovary function. However, their research has shown that perhaps this shot has over suppressed some women, quite possibly me included, and so they have tweaked that protocol slightly. This shot may have also caused the problem with my uterine lining. So, lucky me, *sarcasm*, I apparently get to give myself (or CJ will give them, as I have an intense avoidance to needles in general) subcutaneous shots to my belly daily for a small amount of time, on top of the estrogen meds I will take orally. And here I thought I had escaped the tummy shots because I'm not going to be producing the eggs. Dammit.

Another topic we talked about with the doc was my history of irregular menstrual cycles and the fact that I did develop Gestational Diabetes during PG with K. Dr. D. is a man who does a tremendous amount of research, and he indicated that research has shown that not only do women who develop Gestational Diabetes during PG often become diabetics later in life, but there is also a slight correlation between Diabetes and miscarriage. He also indicated that there might be a slight connection to irregular cycles and Diabetes, which in turn links to miscarriage (if you follow my drift here), so I'll be undergoing some more in depth blood tests to determine if specific hormones are acting as the should within my body. I have to say, I'm very glad our doc is on top of things like this, because as we know in the infertile world, there are a million different reasons people may not be able to become PG, and if we can cross off the "ifs" and "whys" off a few different areas on my list, then I'll be happy about that.

We also discussed how many embryos to transfer back into me when and if we cross that bridge. Initially, we had discussed putting two embryos in, and three if necessary, which is what we ended up doing. The risk of triplets, when we did that, was quite high, but we ended up with a singleton, our beautiful Keifer. We were lucky. The chance of having twins was 25%. This time, we have it in writing that we will put no more than two embryos in, and only one if we were to have the most perfect, beautiful embryo ever. We don't want to risk triplets, hence the "no three" this time, and the chance of twins is still 25%, but if the embryos aren't the "best" quality, then we can hope that one would stick. Hope. Pray. Dream.

Now we wait.

I'll undergo my blood tests, undergo my mock cycle, and we will wait for an anonymous donor. We chose to go with the "exclusive" donor cycle program, which means that we will not be sharing our eggs with another couple, and we will not be taking the donor the clinic gives to us (as they come up on the donor availability list). With the exclusive package, (oh la la), we get to say yes or no to the donor they offer us, based on just characteristics and genetics, and if we say no, we don't get bumped off the top of the list, we'll simply get a crack at the next available donor. The estimated wait time at this point, as told to us, is about 3-4 months, which we all know could change at any time. Ideally, CJ and I would like to undergo the cycle near the end of the summer, as we both have plans we'd like to do this summer, and if all things were to work out as they have previously, then my due date would be late Spring, which as a teacher, worked beautifully when having Keifer last April. But, we all know dreams like this including so much technical science don't always go as you wish them to go, and I've learned that I need to pray on it, but take whatever comes my way. Whatever will be will be, and we'll deal with life as it's dealt to us down this road again.

Am I scared? You bet I am. Scared, exhilarated, terrified, anxious,: any other analogy for "freaked out" and I'm that. I just hope and pray with all my heart that we are as lucky as we were the first time. Our angel girl was worth the pain of the struggle the first time around, but it doesn't mean that this time will be any easier. The only easy thing this time will be in how fast the time will go, as chasing K around the house has become a time consuming activity and I hope this remains true during our IVF cycle.

So that's it in a nutshell. I'll update or change as I think of things.

Wordless Wednesday: learning the power of the remote

K's First Haircut Pictures

Before:

Learning about getting all dolled up
During: so serious and good!
This is funny, mama!

Do you like it?
She keeps running her hands over her head (all night long!)

At home: the puppies approved!
She looks like a little girl, no longer a baby!

K's first haircut!

We took K today for her first haircut!*CLICK HERE for the other video clip of her sitting all calm, cool, and collected like a big girl* Really, I think she was in shell shock! LOL(sob)*
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For the love of our cousins

What a fun weekend we all had! Keifer didn't enjoy swimming in the big pool quite as much as she did the first night, when she had just her clothes on. I think she was just plain old tired out, and the loudness of the pool area seemed to bother her. CJ picked up this new floaty toy for her to float in, but she didn't really want anything to do with it, other than chew on the front piece. At one point, she started to tip forwards in it, as she is just too darn strong and wants to be constantly moving, not relaxing! After swimming with her dada and cousins, she enjoyed some of her dinner with Papa Jim and Nana (not pictured, *sad*), then took a splish splash bath with Abby and Mason! What fun! K ended up going to bed with no problems in our Pack & Play, and slept a full 12 hours. Yay for her!

I'd rather chew on the baby octopus's leg Hanging with my Papa Jimbo
Splish Splash, loving the bath (this was the "safest" pic I could post online - there were MANY more cute ones)
Our grumpy girl, ready for bed. Nice hair, K - we're going for a trim on Tuesday night!

Pulling on Abby's wet hair!
Sunday AM: Mama/Auntie in bed with the kiddos, hanging out and enjoying the morning. Too bad the adults were all exhausted! *And yes, K and Mama have matching PJ's - we'll get a pic of us with them on eventually!*

Cousin Oscar LOVED coming over to K all weekend and kept giving her kisses out of the blue! Here's a smacker - you can't see it, but you can tell..........
Adoration

Going in for a kiss, not a bite!
Many attempts were made to get the youngest generation together -- and the funny thing is, if you look closely, you can see K's favorite new expression - her pursing/scrunching of her lips. She does this lately all. the.darn.time. It's hilarious, really.

They are pretty darn sweet to see

Overall, much fun was had and many naps were taken on Sunday afternoon! We hope to see our family again soon! We miss them and don't see them nearly enough!

Sweet smells of baby

Each and every time I get into my car, and K isn't with me, I savor her smell. It's invaded my car, which is understandable as the entire back seat has been turned into K's zone of toys, blankets, teething rings, and excess clothes.
*sigh*
I love her sweet, innocent baby smell.
I love her so.

Yay for a mommy day

Since I'm on Spring Break this week, and we're leaving for Duluth on Wednesday, I decided to take today off and make it "my day". I dropped K off this AM, hit the Fitness Pilates class (did I mention there were only 3 other women there and I felt like I had one-on-one treatment? It was awesome!). I came home, showered up, caught up on the phone with a friend, hit a movie, Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day, starring Amy Adams of Enchanted, and the always talented Frances McDormand. It was cute, sweet, romantic comedy that I most likely wouldn't have ever saw had People magazine not given it a rave review. I liked it; and am glad I went. I had popcorn for lunch, came home and took a leisurely walk along the newly snowed upon sidewalks with the fur kids, and then caught up on some shows that we had DVRed, with Sassy Sager at my side. Oh yes, I also "played hard" with Treble, something we haven't done in quite some time. He seemed to really enjoy it.
Then I packed up the fur kids, picked up K, and let her child care friends enjoy some licks from Sass.

Apparently, because it is St. Patrick's Day, a sneaky Leprechaun visited the children during their nap time: he managed to avoid their leprechaun trap, and left them a pot of gold (chocolate, that is!). He also turned over all the green chairs, and left some leprechaun foot prints! Keifer didn't' really seem to care (LOL), but she did enjoy the nibble of her piece of chocolate!

Score! Finally, a swim suit

Finally, I have found a swimsuit! A swimsuit I LOVE! YAY!
My SIL Jill and I hit the MOA (which was literally minutes from the hotel we stayed at) on Saturday, leaving our kids in capable daddy hands, and we went hardcore swim suit shopping. Three hours later, we both left with a new suit. I found my suit at Everything But Water, a swim suit shop, where they had hundreds upon hundreds of suits. I must have tried about 15 of them on! I was finally successful with this suit, only in a really pretty emerald green (hey, if CJ commented on how pretty the color is, you KNOW it's nice!). It makes my small bust look somewhat bigger, the scrunchy front fabric covers the love handle flabs, and the bottoms are perfect! Best of all, I don't feel like a frump in a "mom suit", you know? LOL.


And, to get into tip top swim suit weather, I hit the Yoga/Pilates fusion class on Saturday, also with Jilly, and today I did a Fitness Pilates class, then the elliptical machine for 30 minutes. I have a week off of work this week for spring break, so I took K to child care (heck, we're paying for it), and now I'm having a "mom's day".

Interestingly enough, my lower abs have NO STRENGTH whatsoever after having the C-section last April. I could barely lift my body off the floor using my entire body. It's almost embarrassing, but since there were only 4 of us that showed this AM for the Pilates class, the instructor was able to help me a bit, and explained to me that I will be able to regain strength down there, but I just need to continue to work on it. I have to say, I'm loving the instructors lately that I've been meeting. They are so down to earth and personable, and I never feel awkward taking a class from them.

One, two, three, four, five...we caught a fish alive

And her name was Keifer!

CJ's family is in town (they are the North Dakota crew) and we are whooping it up this weekend at a local hotel. Papa Jimbo will stay tonight with the pup pups so they don't get lonely or afraid (we've never left them overnight alone, nor would I want them to be alone all night). K didn't have her swimsuit last night; we didn't plan on her swimming, as her and I stopped at the hotel after work and child care. Alas, that didn't stop Betsy or Laura from grabbing their youngest cousin and helping her get her mermaid fin going. Our girl is a natural; you can see more at the dropshots briefly, but man oh man, it's like she knows EXACTLY what to do! It's amazing! Her little frogger legs help her complete a soon-to-be prize winning breaststroke (I know it! LOL).

Here she is with Betsy and then with Laura and Betsy's 3 year old, Oscar. Oscar is a doll. He was enchanted with Keifer (and she with he), and they've already shared some kisses as cousins. We'll have a slew of pics after the weekend!

Reading herself to sleep

The other night, Dada let his girl take over and read herself The Thank You Prayer. We read it every night to her. Doesn't it sound like she says, "thank you"?
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