The journey of our family after undergoing IVF with Donor Eggs - 2 different times! - we were successful and now it's life with 1 Senior(!), 1 Sophomore, and 1 dog!
Here I blog about life, work, health, nutrition, and post pictures to keep you in the loop!
We broke out the Duck Tub last night - and it was a success! YAY! Keifer appeared to enjoy the ability to stretch out and splash a bit in her new duckie tub. She wasn't being sprayed down with the water nozzle, and she actually let out some belly giggles as she was being washed. *Whew - big sigh of relief*. When mommy was little, she didn't like her hair being washed, and supposedly it took 2 people to wash HER hair, so she was a wee bit nervous Keifer would be just like that. Sitting up certainly changes perspective on the whole bathing experience. Sassy Sager made sure that Keifer was safe the entire tub time, and sat with her paws up on the edge, making sure that if any licks were able to be had, they were. Keifer was happy for that. LOL. (*on a side note, Treble was mighty confused about why this big, yellow inflatable thing was quacking at him!*)
Today it was the MN Vikings versus Auntie Jill's favorite team, the Green Bay Packers. We all know I'm going to grow up saying, "Go, Vikings!" just like my daddy and cousin Abby do.
I had fun playing with my cousins today. Abby took great care of me, and she fought with her mom, Auntie Jilly, over who got to hold me. My cousin Mason is starting to think I'm pretty cool *finally*. He really likes my dinosaur voices and when I tell him, "no, no, no". You can see me with him here: CLICK
Remember my mommy telling you I like to shake my head "no, no, no"? Well, here is just a LITTLE clip of what I typically do about 20 times a day - I like the feeling of textures rubbing on my head (apparently).
Hee hee. For more fun new dropshots clips, click HERE
Yesterday morning, as Keifer was chugging down her morning bottle, after taking her breaks to smile her sweet, formula smile at mama, she sat up on my lap for her annual burp. I sit her sideways on my lap facing out (I've found she burps the best in this position). Whenever Sassy Sager hears the thumping of a potential burp building up, she scurries from wherever she is in the house to sit by my feet and wait for the possibility of a spit-up burp to lick up. Oh, who am I kidding? She actually comes up and stands up on her back legs and licks the heck out of Keifer's formula face. Keifer loves it. She giggles, squeals, and wiggles with excitement.
Now that our Princess K can start reaching out and actually grab her intended targets (toys, burp cloths, chewies), she got lucky and caught her intended victim yesterday AM: Sassy's ear. Uh oh. Sassy has this screech - it sounds like a scream (literally). She didn't snap or bite when Keifer's (surprisingly) strong grasp grabbed onto her left ear - oh no - she just screamed like someone was hurting her. Well, someone WAS hurting her. Keifer just beamed and cooed and wiggled her toes while Mama frantically uncurled her hand from around the precious, velvety ear of Sass. Poor Sass. Sager then needed some Tender Loving Care from mama, too, while Keifer squealed away and wondered what that incredible sound had been. LOL.
Let the grabbing begin. Treble and Sage: look out. Here she comes. (and no, we won't let them be alone with Keifer ever, and especially now that there is the possibility of tails and ears to be grabbed, which would mean some unintentional "defense-biting" going on. *sigh*)
Can you SEE the hand just itching to start reaching for that cool looking white & black puppy? *poor Sass*
Yep, so all the PG "gain" I achieved, I'm figuring out that much of it was and is indeed in my HIPS. I'm working out quite a bit lately, and loving my Cardio Kickboxing classes, but yet, my pants don't seem to be getting any smaller. I am really TRYING MY HARDEST to accept the fact that I have had a baby and my body carried and nourished this child for 10 months, so of course I have excess weight that won't go away as fast as I'd like it to. I also remind myself pretty much everyday, that society is the culprit who has brainwashed me into thinking I NEED to be stick -thin to look good. I look FINE, and some people tell me they like me with a bit more "meat" than I used to have when they first met me. I've just finally figured out, I guess, that the PG caused my hips to widen, and although I may look smaller than a few months ago, my hips and midsection have completely changed in size - so yeah, my jeans I bought pre-PG aren't going to fit for quite some time. *sigh*
I am healthy. I am of average size. I work out. I eat well most of the time. I move around a LOT (I don't like sitting still except for movies!). Teaching 3 year olds is not for the slow or stagnant. However, when I met CJ, I was a size 6. I look at pictures of our first vacation together, and think "who IS that girl in that bikini?". But, I also admit I looked TOO skinny. Then, I gained weight from 3 years of fertility medication - it really did a number on my body with all the hormones. When I got PG, I was at what I THOUGHT was a big higher than my typical weight, but now looking back, I realize I was just fine and actually a "perfect" weight for me. Now, at 15 pounds over that, I'm finding it increasingly frustrating that my "roll" of excess skin around my middle isn't going away as fast as I want it to. *(sigh)*. I'll just keep plugging along, and hopefully my mind will finally accept the constant reminders that I look fine. I'm healthy. I feel good. It's just taking me awhile to accept the changes that Keifer and the drugs did to my body. However, I am thrilled that I was even able to carry a child, and the thought of doing it all over again makes my pulse quicken with anticipation. Being a woman is tough work.
I went to get my ring (wedding/engagement) resized last Friday. I haven't been able to wear it since November of last year. I went to the place that we got CJ's wedding band at - a local mom & pop type small business, because we really liked the service and want to support them. They told me it would be $120 to resize my ring up the 2 1/2 sizes I needed done (damn knuckles). I said I'd think about it. On Saturday, I brought the ring to the store (a more "high end store" ) where we bought my wedding band, and I had it sautered together in the past. They told me it would cost me $525 to do it there. I took it back, and in the words of Amy Winehouse, I said, "no, no, no!". LOL So back to the first store I go today. I'm dying to get that ring back on my finger. I miss it.
But back to the Amy Winehouse song lyrics. Keifer's latest "thing" to do is shake her head side to side, really fast, like she's enjoying the feeling of the rubbing on the back of her head. She does this quite frequently lately, so when she does, I sing to her "they try to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no no," and she giggles and laughs and shakes her legs excitedly. Last night, Abby and Jill came to see their favorite angel girl, and admired her eating skills as she chowed on some cereal. When she started doing the head shake, I started singing to her, and she giggled and laughed at me singing, complete with the cereal messy mouth, making her all the more precious to look at. This continued throughout the evening, so I think our little ham has caught on to being a performer already! Oh "no, no, no!".
Rollin' with my homies........does anybody else appreciate this? LOL. Ahhh........not-so-subtle slip-ins of movie trivia.....
Here's mama's new wheels - and Keifer's new car seat! What a fun weekend of NEW THINGS! We had a fun time picking up our new car Friday night, then yesterday I got my hair cut and colored again (I have to damage my hair with colors and body perms to get any type of body in it, ugg, pathetic). This AM, Keifer and I hit church, and then had a late lunch at Champps with two of my good friends, and former co-workers, Linda and Sue. Linda and Sue are the best: they even gave Keifer some new books- her favorite new thing to CHEW ON! LOL. Keifer Lynn is such a lucky girl: she has special aunties who love her everywhere she goes!
Ohh, this paper looks good enough to eat! (so she stuck it in her mouth!)
Take 5 minutes and just watch and think about this.
It really was good for me to see this this weekend. It reminded me that I have no control over things in my life, but that whatever happens, God is there.
For those who have read and prayed for my friend Emilie -thanks to you - her and her miracle little baby are doing well, and on the mend. Thank God. Please keep them both in your prayers as they are certainly not "out of the woods" yet. Emilie is amazing. All I can say is, Wow. Just WOW. After all she's been through, reading her blog - lemmondrops - is like a novel itself. She just posted a picture of her beautiful miracle. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. *sniff* She writes for a local Catholic newspaper, and recently published an article on her experience; I hope she is OK with me posting this, but it truly is a great reminder to be thankful for all in our lives. Hugs and prayers to you, Emilie. Stay strong.
Holy crap, who ARE these people? I was just skimming through my work computer's picture folder, and found this picture from August, 2003, when I made my first (and only, so far) trip to Sturgis with my then-fiance, Chris, and my future In-law's, Marge and Jim. I want to almost CRY when I look at how skinny I was; those jeans would never fit me ever again in a million years, and I was working out hard-core then. Wow. Just wow. But look at how hot my main man is! *cat whistles*. And yes, I have some very cool in-laws! What other MIL do you know who accompanies her man to Sturgis and stays out partying with her adult son and daughter-in -law? LOL.
Actually, WE are getting a new car tonight - we're picking it up and trading in our old car, but mama gets to drive it.
We are trading in our 1996 Toyota Camry *(sniff, my baby)*, because years of driving have put MANY miles on it and it would be a pretty penny just to fix it up. It was a hard decision, but in the end, it'll make much more sense to get a new car, and the payments won't be TOO bad, as we decided to lease it. It was really nice not to have to worry about a car payment, *sigh*, but we got the new 2008 Camry for a REALLY good deal, and now mama and Keifer are going to be driving in the ultimate safe car.
We went a few weeks ago and test drove it; it was not a hard decision, per say, we decided overall we'd go with a reputable brand, and a 'good' car that we hope to have for another LONG period of time, and Toyota just won out. I loved my Camry and took care of it like it was my baby. CJ has recently been driving it (after I became PG and had Keifer) for safety reasons (it is older and our SUV has more safety features). And yes, we got it in this beautiful red (guess I better stick to the speed limit, huh? *blush*).
Keifer is also going to enjoy cruising with mama in her new car, because she is ALSO getting something new: her new convertible car seat! Our girl is HUGE - translation: mama can't lift her snug-ride anymore, and her legs are about hanging over the edge. So we're installing the new car seat in the Camry and we'll all be set for hopefully awhile!
I'm also bringing my wedding ring/band in tonight to a jeweler to get it resized. I am sad because I haven't been able to wear my beautiful engagement ring/wedding band since last November, due to the PG and swelling, etc., and I'm STILL wearing my $20 fake cubic z. wedding band. However, the fake ring is sliding off my finger, but my real wedding ring won't go past my knuckle *sigh again*, so I'm hoping it'll be resized in no time and I can feel like a truly married woman again. LOL.
The dinosaur ROARS like a Tyrannosaurus Rex and SCREECHES like a Pterodactyl! If I didn't know better, I'd think our home was being invaded by these creatures of long ago! Oh wait: it's just ONE BABY making these fun sounds! CJ and I LOVE every minute of it (Tboy and Sass, on the other hand, could care less).
I have a heavy heart tonight. No, not about Keifer. I have a few things weighing on my mind, and it makes my heart sad.
First, my student whose father passed away: well, he's been in school the past 2 weeks, and he is having a very difficult time of it. I teach early childhood special education, so he has qualified for extra help for delays in communication - understanding and expressing himself - and in his problem solving, cognitive skills, etc.. The fact that something like this happened to his daddy - his "best friend" (so he said), is heart wrenching. On top of it, his mother is 5 months Pregnant, and their family migrated here from another country as refugees. Well, today our little guy, he had a huge meltdown, and was sobbing, saying he wanted to hurt his mommy, because mommy hurt his daddy ( he saw his mommy doing CPR on his daddy and mistook it for 'hurting him'). He kept telling us daddy is dead. The family had the viewing and mass this past weekend, so I cannot imagine how his little brain is processing this. He has a difficult time understanding things as they are already, let alone that his father is "dead' and what is dead. He had a meltdown, sobbing today, and my coworkers and I felt like sobbing along with him. It hurts very much to see him in such pain, and while we're trying to help him, he mistakes it for something else, and gets angry with us, and lashes out. Please pray for him and his family.
And, on the other end of my constant thoughts is another baby. I've never had what would be considered a regular menstrual cycle since I started getting AF (Aunt Flo) back when I was 13. I was regulated by the Pill for many, many years, and my attempts at getting off the pill only made me miserable, as my cycles would range anywhere from 12 days to 30+ days. A cycle is considered from the start of your period to the end of it, when the next period shows up. For 3 years, my body was regulated and controlled by drugs, shots, and hormones meant to help me conceive the child I wasn't able to create on my own. I was able to get PG easily enough - thank God, but I needed the drugs and manipulation to get me to that stage, as well as donor eggs. That is the biggest thing we needed - the help of somebody else's eggs, since mine weren't cooperative.
Since having baby K, I've had 3 'cycles', two of which might be considered somewhat regular- lasting 30 days or so, from start to finish. However, its' been since August 1st since I've gotten AF - making this cycle day 49 or something - and I had AF for 18 days in a row -translation, I bled for 18 days, and now AF is missing in action. And no, I'm not PG. It makes me so damn frustrated, because CJ and I thought we might get lucky and "magically" get PG on our own. But apparently that is not meant to be in our cards in life. And - how can we try to get PG when I don't have a clue as to where my cycle is and my body is obviously VERY whacked out.
CJ and I had a good talk the other night and in our hearts, we would like to have another baby sooner than later. Ideally, we'd like to attempt it again, this time with an anonymous donor, as nothing ever could compare to what we went through with Mooshie, our egg angel. That was the most unique and special event to ever occur in our lives, other than the entrance of our Keifer. So, I set out yesterday with the thought that maybe I could schedule some doctor consult meetings, to get things moving along. What I found online at the clinics in this area stopped me in my tracks.
Since I've had Keifer, since I've completed all the cycles and jumped through all the hoops -suddenly, donor eggs has become a supply and demand trade, and the clinics are apparently taking advantage of that and jacking up prices to literally unf**cking real prices. We could buy a brand spankin' new LUXURY high -end car for the price of trying to achieve another successful Pregnancy with donor eggs (anonymous). I went to bed in tears last night, and told my coworkers about it in tears this AM. It's not fair. It is JUST. NOT. FAIR. I know that we'll pray on it, something will happen, we'll figure out financing, etc., but in the meantime, my heart is so sad that we have to consider if we want to do this- pay atrocious amounts of money just to get a baby.I know what is meant to be will be, and having Keifer only makes our hearts sing with joy every day we have with her; but right now, I am frustrated and I need to dwell on this to get it out of my system.
Lately, wherever we go, whatever we do, Keifer is a non-stop talking machine. She is enjoying playing with the sounds in her throat and is making her "roar" sounds, her fake coughs quite a bit, and this "ahhhh" monologue that you'll see in this video clip. This is what we wake up to on a good AM, when she is so happy and has slept a full night. I love to listen to her like this on our way to daycare in the morning, and on our way home at night. I always tell her she is telling mama all about her day with her friends at daycare.
Her friends at daycare just LOVE her. Last week, Keifer "supposedly" (*LOL*) kept up 4 year old Olivia with her talking and laughing and WANTING to play during nap time. Elaine (daycare provider) begged to differ with Olivia.
And little Ava, on two separate occasions now, has asked me what exactly it is that I've put in Keifer's hair to make it stand up the way it does. LOL. I love kids. The best part (thank goodness) is everyday when I walk in to pick up Keifer, barely able to contain myself with the excitement of seeing my girl to take her home, is watching her laugh and giggle with the older children. She is usually sitting up high on the snack table, in her Bumbo, cooing away and throwing her favorite item, the teething ring, aside, so some helpful 3 or 4 year old can retrieve it. It is so sweet to see the interactions, and it makes my heart sing with joy.
My three favorite "kids" lined up playing - when the fur kids get excited/happy, they chew their nylabones, so here they are, so excited to have Keifer home, and mama down on the ground to play with. I just thought it was a cool unintentional line up - like a rainbow!
Keifer Lynn had her 2nd attempt at rice cereal yesterday, during out family fun day, and she was successful! She clearly seemed a bit confused by it all, but overall, it was much more successful than her first attempt. Aubrie Lynn even got in on the action, and helped me feed her favorite baby cousin. Nummy. Do you spy the sassy Sager in the picture? *hee hee*
Keifer's Nana Dian, Bumpa Dale, Auntie Barb and cousin Aubrie came down to visit today. It was a quick trip for them - but Aubrie was over the moon, she was so excited to see cousin Keifer (aka "Keeser").
They made the mistake Thursday night of telling Aubrie they would be coming down, and she had a fit: "I want to see baby Keeser RIGHT NOW".
Her words, after spending almost 4 hours in the car, with all the pit stops they made along the way: "Baby Keeser lives far, far away". LOL.
We had fun loving on each other, and eating at Red Slobster for lunch, with our big girl in her Bumbo chair right on the table. She loved it - she loves looking around and watching people. Aubrie did great today, considering she didn't get her usual afternoon nap. Then, we putzed around the mall, looking for boots for Keifer to keep her tootsies warm (*yeah, her feet are so "wide" - I won't say fat*) that they didn't fit in 6-12 month Sherpa booties at Old Navy, so we're on the hunt for 12-18 month ones, hoping they will fit. We picked out matching skirts for Keif and Aubrie, as they will be having their pictures taken together next month, in matching shirts that I got for them - the "K is for Keifer' and "A is for Aubrie" ones. Then, we headed home, where Aubrie enjoyed playing with Keifer's future Little People, and then we all oohed and ahhed, as Keifer ate some cereal and seemed to enjoy it! We topped the evening off with a bath for Keifer, with us all singing "Splish Splash", and we said our goodbyes, with lots of hugs and kisses. Whew, what a fun day!
We introduced Keif to some rice cereal tonight, and it was not very successful. She had no clue what to do with this "thing" (aka spoon) coming at her, and had the tongue thrust thing going on, that they say should NOT be occurring when and if your child is ready for solids. Oh well, that's OK, all the easier for mommy and daddy to feed her at this point in time. She was hilarious to watch, though. We got one video clip, but mostly she just had the funniest expression on her face, and made this groaning sound. Towards the end of my short attempt, she actually started leaning towards the spoon, but none of the cereal moved once she got to the spoon. Another day, my sweet pea, another day.
Five months old today! As always, it is AMAZING to even think that 5 months has gone by! Seriously? Seriously! Whoa!
Our girl is as chatty as ever, with new sounds emerging every day. She loves to play with her feet and attempt to get them to her mouth. She is getting stronger every day while she practices sitting up in her big girl Bumbo seat. It is fun to see her eye light up when she sees Sage or Treble come anywhere near her; she literally can go from crabby girl to happy, squealy girl when Sage tries to clean her face or hands. She is moving from her infant car seat to the convertable car seat this week - as she is so heavy mommy can barely lift the infant seat. We need to measure her length again, but I'm willing to bet she is around 28 inches. Her hair looks like it is strawberry blond in the light, and darkes when the sun isn't hitting it.
She is a joy and a blessing. I cannot imagine our life without her at this point. (*sigh*). We are so thankful.
Our poor girl has her first cold. I noticed this morning, she seemed a bit "stuffier" and raspier sounding than usual. She has been in her typical happy spirits, but after a nap, I saw that the crusties had taken over her nose. Yuck. The dried up snot bits. I went shopping alone for a few hours, and came home to CJ and his girl watching football. Keifer's eye was running (the right one) and I asked if she had been crying. Nope, it seems as though our girl has a bug. Its to be expected, I'm sure, after a few weeks in her first daycare, exposed to all those fun germs. Plus mommy is back in the schools as well, and I'm probably bringing home germs
At least she continues to be in good spirits. She has no fever. And, she 's been more cuddly than usual. Not that she's not a cuddle bug, but all afternoon, we alternated between eating and cuddling. She fell asleep tonight in the rocker with me, her body draped on mine, so warm and fresh. Her little head got heavier as she let the sleep overtake her and her breathing turned into little raspy grunts. I loved smelling her and holding her. I must have sat there a full half hour, just listening to her and letting her love on her mama.
Our big girl STILL does not prefer to take baths if she doesn't have to. I think it's because sitting in the tub in the sink is not her idea of a good time. I think once we break out the 'duckie tub' for her baths,when she is able to sit more solidly, she'll have a good time.
Here's our duck-haired girl - looking like the angel she is - sleeping hard last night in her crib. We are so darn lucky, she goes to bed every night between 6:30 and 7:00 PM, and all we do is feed her, rock her, and cuddle her for a bit on our chests. I myself like to feel her warm body draped on mine (draped, because she is so big), sleeping soundly, smelling that baby smell of lotion, formula breath, and a tinge of diaper cream. *sigh*. She is sleeping about 11 hours straight each night, and wakes us up in the morning with her chatter. I love to hear it (although I'd prefer she had mommy's hours of sleep and like to sleep in! LOL)
This AM, she loved hanging out on the counter while I cooked my egg beaters. She loves to be up high, looking around and banging on the Bumbo chair and things that might be around her (such as her can of Formula!). Do we have a future drummer on our hands? Perhaps? Maybe it's all that rock music mommy played/plays for her in the car! *hee hee*.
This morning, we visited our school district's Early Childhood Family education program's "baby shower" that they have - which is more like an open house, inviting new parents to the classroom. I knew all about this program, as I work in Early Childhood Special education, and have spent many hours withing the early childhood classrooms. I love this program, but unfortunately, because I work full time, I'm not able to bring Keifer to the classes they provide, which are typically during the work week. *sad face*. CJ and I talked, and maybe he'll take Keif when she is a bit older to the Family education's "Daddy and Me" classes - which are daddy and child classes. That will be fun for both of them to look forward to their night together.
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Slightly kooky, funny, emotional (!), supportive, kid and dog-loving Mama. I TTCed for almost 3 years, and was finally successful, thanks to my egg angel Mooshie. We used an Anonymous Egg Donor for baby #2, and were lucky! Now I have 2 gorgeous, spirited, and unique girls!
My beloved first rescue, Treble, passed away. 2/18/19
RIP Sage
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. ~ Anonymous
Mama and Keifer's Egg Angel, Mooshie
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Books Talking About Using An Egg Donor For Children
CJ and I love this book -- it explains how mommy had a part that didn't work, so another special lady comes to help because she has that special part that is needed. Beautiful pictures and simple, sweet text.
There is no substitute for books in the life of a child ~ Mary Ellen Chase
We broke out the Duck Tub last night - and it was a success! YAY! Keifer appeared to enjoy the ability to stretch out and splash a bit in her new duckie tub. She wasn't being sprayed down with the water nozzle, and she actually let out some belly giggles as she was being washed. *Whew - big sigh of relief*. When mommy was little, she didn't like her hair being washed, and supposedly it took 2 people to wash HER hair, so she was a wee bit nervous Keifer would be just like that. Sitting up certainly changes perspective on the whole bathing experience. Sassy Sager made sure that Keifer was safe the entire tub time, and sat with her paws up on the edge, making sure that if any licks were able to be had, they were. Keifer was happy for that. LOL. (*on a side note, Treble was mighty confused about why this big, yellow inflatable thing was quacking at him!*) 
